💯🏆

Nope! You are describing fashion✨💅

If I was in The Last Apprentice series, I would be a terrible apprentice bc I would spend zero time fighting the dark and all of my time befriending and playing with the orange cat boggart who makes us breakfast and protects the house.

(I would also be very scared of all the monsters.)

They need to stop publishing books until I’m caught up reading them all.

Two Mourning Doves at a bird feeder with a built-in camera. One dove is in profile, very close to the camera, and appears to be looking at it, and the other dove is further back, but also looks like it’s staring straight into the lens.

These two Mourning Doves at my feeder cam look like they just rang my doorbell because Tony Soprano sent them to collect a debt I owe.

Me: (existing near a beautiful woman)

Me, quietly: don’t you dare

My butt: 🙂

My butt: 🎉 toot! 🎉

Me: omg you…. You like me??

Devi: 🎉 toot! 🎉

Me: ….. hm

Ty ty since I’ll be able to comfortably work out (once all healed) I may even become… singularly alluring~~~

When I get top surgery I’m going to be shirtless 90% of the time I am home. It will be the first time my fish-belly-white midsection has seen the sun! 😳

Awesome!! Good thing I learned all about biting earlier 🙂

Client: but you can do it, can’t you? You’re the best forger in the biz!

Me: I don’t know… this lady’s signature…

Client: what is it? Does she use a special kind of ink? What??

Me: (strained quiet voice) it’s… so squiggly

What color prairie dogs are you guys?

!!! I love touching friends’ lives ☺️

Can we please hear your Deep Truths

Girlll yessss get it! Proud of u ✨💕

GETTING PANDA RN but I’ve just woken up from a nap so… no, I can’t relate

COMPELICAN, IF YOU WILL

Your pelican story is more compelling :)

Guys come over, I’m getting panda!!!!!

I want one thing with all my heart and that thing is Charli xcx on Great British Baking Show.

Like the first episode of sopranos but a little different

Crunch two is Crunchwrap I’m assuming

Proud of you 💕

But what did u get

Bb we know the typos aren’t you

Mmmm catch em fresh out of the pool where they swim near the bottom!

💕 when we hang out let’s have an edible and watch Ponyo or something!!!

Now I just really wanna play dragon age 2. I want to see what happens if I just fuckin enable the hell out of Merrill and her blood magic demon friends. And I miss my angy boyfriend Fenris.

If I don’t get panda openly this evening I will get it tomorrow covertly. Either way, I am getting that orange deliciousness.

I don’t think I have any surprising mystery info about men that people don’t already know but if I think of anything I will share it!