When you prioritize your partner’s emotional well-being, it creates space for your own emotions to be seen and valued.

5 responses I’ve never seen turn out well when couples are arguing in front of me:

1. “Well if I was you…”
2. “You always..." or "You never..."
3. "Why can't you be more like..."
4. “You’re overreacting.”
5. “If you loved me you would…”

If you feel disappointed or ashamed of how you handled things as a kid and it still haunts you today, let me say this: I’m impressed with how adaptive and resourceful you were. You did what you needed to do to emotionally and physically get through that experience. Well done. I’m proud of you.

The point of therapy isn’t to fix you. It’s about taking your depression and spinning it into comedy gold so your therapist is like, “Ummmm, have you ever considered stand-up?”

The point of relationship therapy isn’t to fix your communication. It’s to catch that subtle glance from the therapist that confirms your partner is the one who’s been wrong all along.

The point of therapy isn’t to fix you it’s to get your therapist to tell you something really personal that they would never reveal to any other client because they like you the best. Obviously.