Whispering “Sizzler” in your lover’s ear used to mean something.

"He who smelt it, dealt it."

There’s only so much America’s Funniest Home Videos one man can take.

a man is holding a piece of paper that says silver lining . ALT: a man is holding a piece of paper that says silver lining .

better the squints than the squirts.

a cartoon of king of the hill saying i dont know you ALT: a cartoon of king of the hill saying i dont know you

To the person that just followed me on the other site, I’m sure you’re a wonderful human being but…

cockwomble politician

If you're ever feeling down in the dumps about your lot in life, take solace that your last name isn't "Gooch".

a man in a suit and tie is holding an oscar statue and saying i want to thank my family and friends for this award . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is holding an oscar statue and saying i want to thank my family and friends for this award .

thank you. I don’t know about that…

Share someone who looks stylish wearing boots

a close up of a woman 's face with the words you 're in danger girl written on the bottom ALT: a close up of a woman 's face with the words you 're in danger girl written on the bottom

#Melania

A McDonald’s where the sign has been reduced to McDo.

There is no McTry.

Dog Honks Car Horn While Waiting for Owner YouTube video by ABC 7 Chicago

#dog
youtube.com/shorts/UL-8W...

The white flag, aka the official flag of the Confederacy

Wishing you and yours a very merry Confederate Surrender Day.

His depends are currently at DEFCON 1

a man with a surprised look on his face talking to another man ALT: a man with a surprised look on his face talking to another man

What? You don’t like The Weather Channel RetroCast feature?

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake By A Horse Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say move the heavy thing, I move the heavy thing. When humans sit on top of me and pull on my head, I carry them where they want to go. The main food the humans give me is hay and oats. But I am thinking it would be nice to have a different food. I am thinking I would like to try cake. Yes, yes. Cake. I know all about it. When humans eat cake, it is in glad times. It is the food for a celebration, such as when a woman becomes 47. I have seen cake on the Fourth of July. When humans have a cake, they stand around it and clap hands and smile and say happy birthday at each other. Sometimes there are beautiful markings on a cake, such as balloons or a pink shape. Sometimes the top of a cake is on fire and a boy must blow on the fire with mouth wind. This is the scariest cake. I do not want this kind. But I will eat any other cake. Any cake that is not the fire cake that tries to kill the boy. Please understand: I do not get money for doing work. I do not get to go inside the house. All I am either doing my horse job or standing in my pen or eating food off the floor. I always do these things. But I have never once gotten cake and I would like it very much. I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children. I am more helpful to the farm. Children do not move the heavy things like me or let anyone ride on them. And yet they get cake. Maybe the humans will realize this. Maybe they will say, "You know who deserves cake? That horse. That horse whose back we are always on." Every day I dream about what it will be like if I get to eat cake. Here is what will happen. First, I will walk to the cake and putt my nose at it like hrrfff to make and stomping my hooves to make sure it is not a snake. Then I will trot in a circle to show that I am a horse and I am large. After that, I will nuzzle the cake to …

The horse op-ed is an instant classic. I can't tell you how much joy this piece gives me.

It should be taught in every introductory writing class in no small part because the horse arguments are so compelling. "I have noticed that human children get to eat cake. But I am bigger than the children."

This is so cool. From 2015: Italian astronaut Samantha Cristoforetti has an espresso on the International Space Station while wearing a Star Trek DS9 uniform.

ALT:

#RandomMovieGif
#currentevents

SCOTUS

🎶Tell my mother I'm going home, I have been destroyed by hippie powers...🎶

The sheer stupidity of this has left me speechless. 🙄

#breakingnews Jelly Roll still sucks

a man in a sheriff 's uniform is holding a bag and says all i did was go get some ALT: a man in a sheriff 's uniform is holding a bag and says all i did was go get some

#RandomTelevisionGif

Does Tom Brady have to be involved in everything?

a man with a beard wearing a hat and vest says piece of cake netflix ALT: a man with a beard wearing a hat and vest says piece of cake netflix

"Prove Me Wrong"

a man in a suit and blue shirt is sitting in a chair with his hands up in front of a hbo max logo ALT: a man in a suit and blue shirt is sitting in a chair with his hands up in front of a hbo max logo

TFW you're browsing the channels on Sirius XM and realize there's a Yacht Rock station

“Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.”