the penne opticon

The Wild Wild Western Water Wars - The American Prospect As a changing climate bakes and dries up the Colorado River, the seven basin states can’t agree on how to share the declining water resources.

in the American West, we've got totally nonsensical 174-year-old legal structures about water rights colliding with climate change-fueled drought, with the federal government AWOL prospect.org/2026/04/17/w...

"wifey" never caught on here, thankfully

It’s so embarrassing. The highest level of one-third of the federal government spikes a groundbreaking climate policy with no explanation, and now we learn that even behind the scenes, not one single member deigned to think about the real world when deciding the case. Get out my face forever.

It’s in keeping with the basic idea of the original Colorado River Compact, which was to manage the basin’s water through some negotiation and compromise, rather than strictly following the letter of the law. But the legal foundation of prior appropriation hamstrings negotiations at every turn. Farmers account for the overwhelming majority of Colorado water use—almost a third goes to cattle feed alone—and thanks to how the system was initially designed, their prices are absurdly subsidized. One recent study found that while municipal districts pay an average of $512.01 per acre-foot, agricultural irrigation districts paid an average of $30.32 per acre-foot. Fully a quarter of all Colorado water diversions, all to farmers, cost nothing at all. Such a subsidy is difficult to unwind.

TIL that while Colorado basin municipal water districts pay an average of $512 per acre-foot, irrigation districts pay an average of $30--and fully a quarter of all water diversions, all going to farms, pay nothing at all prospect.org/2026/04/17/w...

every time the spy-on-every-american-for-no-reason law comes up for renewal a few members of congress wonder if the government should actually spy on every american and then they immediately cave. so it goes.

My cousin Shawn took weed to impress a girl when we were teenagers and his asshole & penis switched places. All the doctors at the (real) Pitt threw up when they saw it. Be my guest and Get “high” if you want this to happen to you

This is America, where every new car costs $40,000

Coachella is trying to wipe all of the footage of The Strokes protest set so I’m gonna post it here. The last images on the screen made me cry.

i cannot believe i’m this person now but i keep seeing millennials complain about aches and sleep injuries and i want you all to live your best lives and lift some light weights

FRY: I'd appreciate it if you didn't bam the lady.
ELZAR: Well, I'd appreciate it if I did, so now we're even! Bam!

"DORA 13 LLC?" like AROD backwards? oh my God, get a life

ROCKALANCHE

everyone wearing an LA jersey in Denver today is sad

last month’s equivalent gop event, for reference

a cat sitting on a chair at the dining room table looking nonplussed by a large plate of blini

when you've siezed the means of production and aren't sure what comes next

A large white waterfowl with orange feet stands in front of a door. On the door is a cardboard sign secured with tape that reads, "DO NOT LET THE DUCK IN." Adding insult to injury, I think the duck might be a goose.

Whatever you do,

WR willing to block ✅

Farmer Arrested for Speaking Too Long at Datacenter Town Hall Vows to Fight Darren Blanchard went a few seconds over his three minute time limit and found himself in handcuffs.

“True story. I was at a public meeting a few weeks ago and went slightly over my speaking time and got thrown in the slammer there in China, I mean Rogers county." www.404media.co/farmer-arres...

Nothing got The Gift Of Prophecy harder than the Simpsons episode where people saw a bear rummaging through garbage and demanded a bear patrol with vans and helicopters and stealth bombers and then people got mad because they had to pay for the bear patrol and the mayor blamed the immigrants

Actually, there's over 1000 orzo

It will! I use a ricer to make whipped potatoes all the time.

In personal news, I have blocked someone for sending me an unsolicited picture of Kermit the Frog with an exposed penis larger than the muppet itself. That was a first.

I thought it was the oil leaks

MILE HIGH PLAYOFFS DUB #️⃣1️⃣

I've built a socioeconomic system that depends on everyone to do useful work and act ethically except the people at the top, who get unimaginable rewards for being antisocial frauds and criminals. And I think it will stand the test of time

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

NUGGALANCHE SZN playoff counter

NUGG
Rd. 1: ✅

ALANCHE
Rd. 1: (starts tomorrow)

So the whole thing comes down to the pope denying that Jesus was pro-war? Is this why I keep seeing reports that Leo and Trump are "feuding"? Yes, but that framing, which is all over the media, is totally wrong. Leo and Trump aren't "feuding," and Trump did not "hit back," "strike back," or "return fire" against the pope. Trump has repeatedly launched unprovoked military actions that he and his lieutenants have attempted to cloak in the language of Christian righteousness. The pope has said that Christian righteousness is incompatible with unprovoked war. Trump has publicly mocked, derided, and attacked the pope; the pope hasn't attacked Trump at all. A feud requires the participation of two people. If you say, "We should respect the sovereignty of each individual, for we are all children of God," and I say, "Fuck you, you dirty hippie," what we have is not a feud. What we have is a principled person trying to have a conversation with an asshole.

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