ummmmmm*…

* Sees tee shot on 17

It’s gonna be ok

13 years young! Love this gurl. #CorgiCrew

I’m interested in the poll results

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

on the plus side now i can bring $300 of groceries inside with one hand

I'm an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Looking forward to ICE ending these long lines at TSA checkpoints the only way they know how -- dispersing tear gas and savagely assaulting anyone who's left

How long does it take a Happy Meal to start working?

Airport beer. That’s the post.

Just ran an errand in my 18 yo daughter’s car. She had a Siouxsie and the Banshees cd (compact disc for those with a 20 in the front of their birth year) playing full blast and I couldn’t be more proud.

Calling handjobs beef jerkies from now on and you can't stop me

My last cat was a British humor snob. Flying Circus & Fawlty Towers were perfectly fine, but Benny Hill was "beneath him." What a dick.

a meme — the top says “My dog just got a haircut and now he looks like he gave up drinking and got his life together” and underneath are 2 photos of a dog (a schnauzer i think?). on the left, the “before,” he’s scruffy and in need of a haircut and a bath. and on the right, the “after,” he’s clean and clipped and wearing a jaunty red bow tie and looking very dapper indeed.

i don’t know if it’s the jaunty bow tie or what but i cannot stop laughing at this

[bursts into liquor store]
oh no I’m remembering things, please help

Tenacity is the secret sauce

The answer to all my problems may not be found at a swim up bar in the Caribbean, but I should check just to be sure.

Everyone has a chapter in their life that they do not read out loud, some people have an entire book.

Be the person they talk about in therapy

Gimli (he/him) Pembroke Welsh Corgi with small tongue showing standing on sidewalk.

Gimli: "just walking around with my derp on."
#corgi #corgicrew #dogsofbluesky

It’s perfectly ok to curse in your posts. We’re all adults here. No need for asterisks.

Fuckin’ A

🇺🇸
KEEP CALM
and
FUCK ICE

#DemoDay