Hogging the joint should be called “joint custody”.

#420DeepThoughts #HighPhi #weedJokes

Listen, if you’re ever feeling too big, just remember that in a world of giants, you’d be a halfling.

“She don’t eat meat, but she sure like to bone.”

That just happened. We really should just wear live mics for your amusement.

#DeadeyeDick #HighPhi

Hate-watching Fox on a Saturday night will get you real nice and toasted if you play the drinking game where you take a shot every time they lie.

Deathtent: The only Lifehouse cover band that matters.

We’re living in a time where like a one day detox is worth celebrating.

Omg I fucking LOVED these dudes!

Come on that can’t be real! I just about nearly peed my pants. Oh my god I hope that’s real. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yayayayayayayayaya!!!

What energy do you bring to life and what energy do you prefer?

Shells brings main character energy, but prefers co-star, and Pops brings supporting role energy with a side of diva. Not sure which he’d prefer. 🤣

#420thoughts #HighPhi #KnowThyself #whoEvenAREwe

Came across this earlier… if it is not the weirdest flex you’ve ever seen, please share yours!

“I look forward to all of the pain, embarrassment, and humiliation of all of the people who can't stand me, when they see my name above theirs on the Scrabble tournament leaderboards.”

That’s two unironic ironic posts in a row. Does that make them ironic?

Isn’t it ironic that Cheetolini wouldn’t release his tax returns, but then he turned around and gave some rando Muskrat hacker access to the U.S. Treasury?

That seems way more ironic than anything in that Alanis jam.

Ever think about how ironic it is that when you’re “apart”from something, you’re out of it and when you’re “a part” of something, you’re in it?

Tell me you're compatible without telling me you're compatible.

Pops and I, sitting at a restaurant, at the exact same moment realized there was a TouchTunes and took out our phones and opened the app without even saying a word.

Not gonna lie, I don’t at all remember what I was gonna say five minutes ago when I wrote “I’m not gonna lie”, and I’m totally fine with that.

The world needs more mystery.

Menopause mayhem:

When you catch a glimpse of yourself walking past the mirror, naked, and you stop to reflect upon the severity of the moment as you whisper to yourself: “I am become fat: destroyer of pizzas.”

#MenopauseMayhem

Duuuuude … notepad notes you never look at are the fallen forest trees of the forest. 🤔😲🌲

Duuuuude … notes you never look at are the fallen forest trees of the forest. 🤔😲🌲

Do they have this one yet? They must have this one.

Lulz well if you’re anything like your brother (which I have noticed you are), I’m not sure the world is prepared 🤣

I mean, she’s not wrong. I wouldn’t even eat that after 100mg of edibles.

Ahhhhhhhhmaaaaaazzzzziiiiinnnnggg

Pfft where were you in October of ‘23 when we devised this genius
? You owe us a cookie.

Wait wait wait whaaaaaaaaaat?

lol this looks like one of those tables at Riley’s where you look like you’re just half a body

Me to pops just now: ohhh if I were a goth drag queen, I could be Kat von Double D

#FreeDragName

Would dick-shaped cookies be called “dookies” or “cockies”??

Ever wonder what it would be like to have to “come out” as hetero?