Traditional Saint Patrick's day breakfast ☘️🐍

I need some sort of cosy bed on a remote control scissor-lift for my elderly cat so he can sit alongside me at my desk, or anywhere he pleases. After his recent stroke trauma he's too wobbly for jumping. #OverEngineeringPickingHimUp

should I get my own personal Jesus, or should we just get a Jesus for the table?

Dry Jan is what I call your mum

Thanks. Not heard these in forever 😎

Closer look at the merch

DM me if you want to bid on this expensive modelling clay

Makes sense. Penny farthing stunt riders probably do have stiff Victorian shoes that would benefit from a travel shoehorn 🤔

Tyre yard fire #stoolreport

Look at this horrible Chichester drug man. Bold as brass, in a street where kids play. Disgustnig.

I'm practicing mindfulness. Jesus it's stressful

Mateta, more like Snoteta. Twice the camera has caught him emptying his nostrils.
Put me right off my pitta and guacamole 🤢

MY WORMS #tiktok #meme #comedy

Just caught something on TV called Professional Padel. Thought it was ai generated slop. Turns out it's just a weird sport and it really looks and plays like that. 🫠🎾

YAS Mr Trombone Man give us EVERYTHING!

It appears to be the 10th anniversary of these Irish chaps going out on a pub crawl in fancy dress.

sure, everybody hates snake oil — until their snake starts squeaking

Going home early because of "wet sleeve"

Ever since one of you smartarses said meal-deal sandwiches only 'taste of fridge' I can't unthink it when reaching for one and then changing my mind. ❄️🥪

Totally forgot about that place. 25 years eh. Blimey. I lost a few there.

Finally watching Wolf Hall. In deep now. Becoming low-key obsessed with the sets. Scanning the walls and skirting boards for light switches and plug sockets. A rogue Sportsdirect mug. Copy of AutoTrader accidentally left on a trellis.

Ok!

A real oldie from The Oldie... #inuit #igloo #business #cartoon

Happy Christmas Jumper Day

*forgets to bring phone into the bathroom* i’m off the grid

When you have a council meeting at 3, and have to defend Sherwood Forrest at 5.