Looks like the onion bought ktla as well

Forbes Prediction Market Gamefies Story About Mass Shooting of 8 Children In another sign that the depravity economy has no bottom, Forbes published a story about a Louisiana man that killed 8 children over the weekend containing a box that asked readers to predict whether ...

horrified by that mass shooting story? Forbes would love you to predict what comes next

A set of drawers. The top drawer has the label “labelmaker” on it.

Environmental storytelling

I’m not so sure about the design of the new enterprise

And mRNA vaccines. Crazy what a game changing technology this is and how wildly hostile to one of the greatest scientific achievements of the last 100 years the us government is

(Screenshot of Amazon review) Five stars - Verified Purchase Spider dreams guaranteed Got these for a transatlantic flight from Seattle. Took effect about 20 minutes from consumption. I slept for about 4 hours and continued to use them to adjust to the timezone change. Every night I had the same dream about a spider wrapping me in a web very tightly and speaking backwards. It seemed very scared and was furious I could not understand what it was trying to say. 20 years passed in the dream world and eventually the spider and I became close friends and four years later we were married. Understandably our differences were too much and our relationship fell apart from the inside. My infidelity was the last straw and we never recovered from the betrayal. I would always wake up write before we signed the divorce papers. I had this same dream every night for 6 days. Great product. Highly recommend.

piracy, obv

A Florida woman is facing charges after using a kayak in a mall fountain while dressed as a pirate and shouting orders at shoppers. Headshot shows a woman with spiky blond hair and an eyepatch

Florida is a world leader in Sentence™ exports

What’s your favorite Bible verse? (Wrong answers only)

Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres.

Vance Says the Pope Should Be More Careful When Talking About Theology The vice president, who is Catholic, took issue with Pope Leo XIV’s statement that disciples of Christ are “never on the side of those who once wielded the sword and today drop bombs.”

The pope could do the funniest thing right now

Cause we have those too!

vOtE bLuE nO mAtTeR wHo

Always the first thing I run out of

Hey uh quick question, what happened to the largest of the three jets in the upper right corner? Bought from IKEA and couldn't follow assembly instructions? The other two jets are flying directly at one another, right? ATC shortage I guess. Does the man's hat say "PETUNIA"?

An absolutely baffling time to be an historian of apocalyptic thought. Like my man is just straight up doing Antichrist stuff and I am meant to be normal???

There's one dude without a beard, so that's diversity

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-co...

Blothar The Berserker Of GWAR Explains How Independent Journalism Is The Only Force As Powerful As GWAR. Subscribe to The Onion at membership.theonion.com.

Christina Koch being greeted by her dog after returning from space is the dose of Monday hopium we all needed 💕

THE DALAI LAMA IS WEAK ON MONETARY POLICY.

You know what else I heard? He FORGIVES sinners! He’s practically pro-sin!

This would be even more adorable if they had found like doggy space suits for them. Then again maybe what with the history of Laika that might have been a little morbid

How does it smell? We have three types of sage here in SoCal (well, two plus Sagebrush which I guess isn’t really a sage) and they all have these subtly different scents that I love spotting on a hike

German news has it at 138 seats for Tisza now

Have fun learning the periodic table!

Zombie pope!

Back to the White House! We should put him in charge of President trump’s health

a man in a suit and tie is standing in front of a flag and saying `` thank you '' . Alt: JD VANCE is standing in front of a flag and saying ``SAY thank you '' .

THANK YOU MR. VICE PRESIDENT!!!

one immediate dramatic consequence of the Hungarian result:

Magyar has promised to repair relations with the EU and unblock a €90bn EU loan for Ukraine