big dumper

smoking a really big bowl of weed then asking chatgpt for what I should be scared of

yes

All pea-brained red deck wins players know how to do in 2023 is cast lightning bolt, attack with creature and splash mutagenic growth in prowess deck

my wife has been threatening to do this to me for years :(

im a two drink autist but instead of caffeine and hydration its cold caffeine and warm caffeine

you have never lived the thrill of dealing 4 damage with a turn 1 goblin charbelcher?

I would get back into magic if we found a practical way to chemically castrate guys like this

okay i'm so tired of having to explain this every time the chiefs play in front of a national audience. yes, all the chiefs players are married to each other. no, they DO NOT all have sex with each other at halftime. they're more professional than that, and there's a lot more to marriage than that

I like to imagine kicked burst lightning makes the same sound as a nascar passing a camera really fast 🙂‍↕️

t5 kicked burst lightning lethal 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

there are no more traditional families, every family unit now is just 2 gay fathers-twink son- transexual daughter- and a bunch of weird pets

1 Haywire Mite 1 Lush Portico 4 Urza's Saga 1 Temple Garden 1 Forest 4 Wooded Foothills 1 Commercial District 4 Goblin Bombardment 4 Windswept Heath 1 Stomping Ground 1 Birds of Paradise 1 Renegade Rallier 1 Sacred Foundry 1 Godless Shrine 4 Damping Sphere 2 Force of Vigor 1 Candy Trail 1 Gemstone Caverns 2 Haywire Mite 2 Veil of Summer 3 Endurance

Technically this

currently 3-0 in a little modern challenge, have thrown countless times but kitties is too powerful to simply punt matches away, the little critters will support and heal you while the deck plays itself 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

4 Birthing Ritual 1 Springleaf Drum 1 Overgrown Tomb 4 Cauldron Familiar 1 Mox Opal 4 Samwise Gamgee 4 Ocelot Pride 1 Dryad Arbor 4 Ajani, Nacatl Pariah 4 Gilded Goose 2 Viscera Seer 4 Witch's Oven 1 Haywire Mite 1 Lush Portico 4 Urza's Saga 2 Temple Garden 1 Forest 4 Wooded Foothills 1 Commercial District 4 Goblin Bombardment 4 Windswept Heath 2 Stomping Ground 1 Birds of Paradise 1 Renegade Rallier 2 Damping Sphere 2 Force of Vigor 1 Candy Trail 1 Gemstone Caverns 1 Haywire Mite 4 Pithing Needle 2 Veil of Summer 2 Endurance

itchy itchy itchy, doing some truly revolutionary thinking, im living on levels that would scare you to consider, urza's saga is better than mana confluence bc it doesn't cost a land to tap for mana

This is what I'm striving to be like 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

wife hurredly excuses herself from the family festivities and darts upstairs, returns back seemingly satisfied. hours later I see this:

life is literally so hard for those of us built like an R Crumb drawing of american women

Somewhat freed from the prison of magic since despite cool new formats and whatever I don't think I have the noble restraint to allow myself to be around magic players anymore

worm 🙂‍↕️

:0

Huge perk of the twink-wife, free weighted squats if i just have her climb on top of me

*feeding my secular zillenial faggot wife cold fancy feast from the can “we used to make this for potlucks, back when i was a kid! hahaha. num num num num. good job :)”

bellowing "TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD!" and standing up from a poker table 0.4 seconds after sitting down

Two guitar pedals in sequence, one large and grey and the other very small and pink

you vs the big illegible reverb I told you not to worry about,,,,, why are you making this weird?? I told you not to worry------ why are you always ruining things I can't belive you, I've really given you so many chances to be more to me than a burden I just.... I dont know.....

I fucking love being a hot woman who is completely insane and stupid. I'm literally better than everyone, I can say the most inane bullshit and still have bitches acting like Pepè Le Pew

I live every moment of my life drowning in fear

realrealrealrealrealrealrealrealreal

I owe literally my entire life to millenial trans women. yas please tell me about your experiences with pirate bay and and voting for obama queen, your a pillar of the community

constantly reminded that I really should be spending more of my time using my looks to manipulate men before i rot away :/

on the witness stand with ten bucks worth of big old gumballs in my mouth: mmmmmmmph mmmph