OMFG I had to go and check that this ACTUALLY happened.
Since when does the BBC ever do chyrons with a political party's branding, rather than their own? Not to mention this is during a pre-election campaign purdah.
(h/t @iainsol.bsky.social)
Under Tim Cook, Apple aided the CCP's censorship and surveillance of its population. It removed almost all VPNs from the Chinese app store, and built a joint-data center with the Chinese government. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/20/t...
There's a war on for this limited edition tote!
This nightmare cost us so much money. Help us out! Get the tote.
membership.theonion.com/iw/?campaign...
There is so so much to love about this, but I think my favourite is his dedication to consistently following-up
Emails released on Monday by California’s attorney general show Amazon allegedly colluding with other companies to raise the prices of pet treats, khaki pants, eyedrops and other products sold online
Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.
A breaking update from @timheidecker.bsky.social.
Sorry to be overly sincere for a second, but here's why we decided to persevere through all of the bullshit and take over InfoWars.
There's just gotta be a line somewhere.
Thank you @pablo.show for letting me talk so openly about this.
Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing in the street outside as they were pursued and then destroyed by a nameless malevolent force, something neither I nor anyone else could control, a great darkness that was, somehow, all my fault. Today, that childhood dream is finally coming true. Today I can finally say the sweetest nine or 10 words in the English language: Global Tetrahedron has completed its plan to control InfoWars.com. I’ve had a lot of time to think about InfoWars in the last year and a half. As the seasons have changed, my ambitions for the project have grown grander, crueler, better aligned with market data. Come, friends, and imagine with me…
Imagine a roaring arena packed to the rafters with pathological liars. High above you in the nosebleeds are podcasters, screaming that you’ll die if you don’t buy their skincare products. Below, on the floor, imagine demonic battalions of super-influencers physically forcing people into home fitness devices designed to dismantle their bodies bone by bone and reassemble them into a grotesque statue of yourself. Out of the throngs, an extremely sick looking man approaches you. He puts his hands on your shoulders. He explains that he is your life coach and that you owe him $800. Such is the InfoWars I envision: An infinite virtual surface teeming with ads. Not just ads, but scams! Not just scams, but lies with no object, free radical misinformation, sentences and images so poorly thought out that they are unhealthy even to view for just a few seconds. The InfoWars of old was only the prototype for the hell I know we can build together: A digital platform where, every day, visitors sacrifice themselves at altars of delusion and misery, their minds fully disintegrating on contact.
With this new InfoWars, we will democratize psychological torture, welcoming brutal and sadistic ideas from everyone, even the very stupidest among us. It will be like the Manhattan Project, only instead of a bomb, we will be building a website. The InfoWars of tomorrow will converge into a swirling vortex of content about content, talent acquiring talent, rings of concentric media mergers processing all human artistry into one endlessly digestible slurry. This will be a dank, sunless place, one where panic and capital feed on each other like twins in the womb of a hulking, unknowable monster—a monster known by many names, but which I like to call modern-day America. All of this is to say that I believe in us. I believe that with the new InfoWars, we can alchemize the pioneering spirit of amateur inquiry, the profit-maximizing drive of corporations, and the cold mental clarity that comes only with disciplined daily ingestion of mind- and body-altering chemicals. If we can do that, what other great things can we do together?
I don’t yet know, but I’m excited to find out. Welcome home, warriors. The future belongs to us. We’re writing the story now. It’s going to be a long one, and it’s going to be a bad one. So settle in. Make yourself comfortable. Buy a tote bag. Nothing can stop us now that we’re in charge of a website. Infinite Growth Forever, Bryce Tetraeder, CEO, Global Tetrahedron
We have a deal. theonion.com/at-long-last...
There's a war on for your mind.
theonion.info
Today I turn 89. I’ve seen this country at its best and its worst, and I know how much community matters. For my birthday, I’m asking you to stand with PFLAG and support the work that’s helped so many in the LGBTQ+ community, including me. give.pflag.org/page/95493/d...
With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.
We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.
Please stand by for more.
Yeah, that Hoffman thing tracks
Wrote a lil sketch about the Blue Jays! Don't ask about the New York accent!
www.youtube.com/shorts/YtTvY...
A Forbes article about a father who killed eight children, with an embedded prediction widget inviting people to speculate on whether "Congress will pass new gun safety legislation before 31st December 2026"
ghoulish
But... you're already Mandy?
y'all I filmed a little thing that I'm putting out tomorrow and it might be my favourite short I've made so far, and not just because I get to act like an absolute dirtbag
In the same manifesto, Palantir's owners argued that we need a national military draft, that soft power is over, and that we were too hard on Germany and Japan after World War II. I don't think that company should be allowed to exist anymore.
Tequila vending machines would have made high school more entertaining
Doug Ford has released an official statement saying he is very very sorry about being caught buying a private jet youtu.be/OFr2TxX60lE?...
Blue Jays win, Mariners win, Dodgers lose second game to Rockies...nature is healing
Doug Ford’s Government Apologizes For The Whole “Private Jet” Thing
youtu.be/OFr2TxX60lE
Tonight I met one of my lifelong heroes, and he was everything I hoped for and more. All hail Sir Michael Palin, the best (and original) funny history person
If he doesn't sell it for the exact same amount as he bought it, I think Ontarians should have the right to take the difference off of our taxes, idgaf if that's "not how money works"
www.ctvnews.ca/toronto/arti...
The Press knew. They laughed.
The Tories knew. They didn’t care.
All I see now is hypocrisy.
