CVS pharmacies should put more money toward staffing and less toward this PR bullshit.

"He is risen" is just the cringiest of grammar.
-A woman who's almost 40 and has her ass in her pic and poo in her name.

Sex, booze, and tiramisus #marriedlife

I need to stop shaving my bits after leg day. I can barely stand, much less stand steadily with a razor next to very delicate things.

Me thinking Bad Bunny has a cool shirt and wanting one like that
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My husband then pointing out it's a football uniform or something.
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I'm not alone in this, right?

a man drinking a milkshake in a diner with the words i guess you could say things are getting ALT: a man drinking a milkshake in a diner with the words i guess you could say things are getting

My husband just asked me if I could drop a package off at the Michael's UPS drop off after work.

a woman in a blue dress is singing on a stage in front of two men in suits . ALT: a woman in a blue dress is singing on a stage in front of two men in suits .

Just bawling my eyes out watching Hamilton bc my sweet country needs to be rescued.

Someone got to poop on the Titanic and it WASN'T ME.

ICE fucked up.
The white women of the US have been angered. Activated. Radicalized.
Come on women: let's kick some asses.

Can someone PLEASE teach @kevinhartreal.bsky.social how to pronounce Missouri??? God damn the commercials are bad enough without hearing Missoooooree

Someone invent an app that's basically gardening instructions in real time game form. Where you can plug in your location and the plants you wanna plant, and then it reminds you what to do to not kill them.

I dream-invented a device that would allow you to inflate balloons with your farts. Any investors interested hmu

If you can't see the images in a stereogram, then it's totally okay, this is not a skill you need to be successful. You can fail just fine either way.

Based on the theological education I've received from Supernatural, trump is clearly the Whore of Babylon.

Trump doesn't pay his contractors. He's notorious for it. And he's not going to pay for this alleged ballzroom/pleasure Palace either. It'll be on us, the taxpayers. Bet.

Am I autistic or did I just grow up almost entirely isolated in a hillbilly/high lead community? Idk but as long as I always have an even number of bites of food and minimal eye contact, I'm okay

Is anyone else afraid that releasing the Epstein list (and theoretically proving trump is a child rapist) isn't going to make a damn bit of difference to the men in your life who currently support him?

Is my father okay with our president raping children?

I sure hope Anonymous doesn't leak the Epstein files 👀

K. Flat once said, "It's easy to jump when you know how to fall." This is the sage advice I'll be keeping with me all the days at the climbing gym.

I had a dirty dream about @jamesgunn.bsky.social once. He told me such a dirty joke, and then we cleaned our glasses. Good times man. I (don't) miss those days (because I'm now happily married, no offense you magnetic creator).

Don't you dare wish me a "happy heavenly birthday" after I'm dead. Buy me a drink NOW lol

Whoever becomes president next should destroy trump's tacky gold ballroom and put in a rose garden.

Pancakes have no right to be the best breakfast food. But here we are. Allowed to eat dessert for breakfast.

$20 is the new $5.

...fukkin trump

Before walking past that bathroom, ask yourself: would my pants be okay if I sneezed?

Because Marlon Brando got up to some crazy shit.

Is Robert Pattinson today's Marlon Brando??

I have no reason to stop believing that the universe is the body of one creature and we're all living on the electrons orbiting one nucleus.

We need a #Supernatural episode showing the demon or whatever that caused all of the #Finaldestination hijinks.

Talking about my geriatric love life with my husband, like "Let the titties hit the floor, let the titties hit the floor."