As a former A's fan, it's infuriating to see the city of Modesto lose their MiLB team. Like the A's, this was completely unnecessary. Don't let the powers that be (hedge fund managers, private equity investors, etc.) tell you that your stadium isn't adequate. It's all bullshit.

Stay Fabulous. 😘

Journalism Professors when I was in school: Try using an em dash from time to time instead of commas to really give your writing an extra punch!

The Whole Fucking World right now: An em dash is an obvious sign that it was written by AI. No human uses those.

Me: Lol, whatevs.

According to the Congressional Budget Office, federal funding for SNAP benefits, colloquially known as food stamps, may be reduced by as much as $186 billion by 2034. Everyone deserves healthy, fulfilling meals. Please donate any money or time you can to your local food bank.

I haven't been this depressed in a long time. It's whatever, life is all horseshit.

Party hard until death because that's the whole point of existence.

When I think back on the truly heinous things people have done to me, I notice all of the perpetrators have 2 traits in common:

1. They're male
2. They're American

No foreigner or lady has ever made me fear for my safety, robbed me at gunpoint, or sexually assaulted me in my sleep.

USA, baby!

"It's a Saturday, time for crime!"

I love sports for many reasons, but one of the main ones is it brings so many disparate groups of people together for one common purpose, and few things are more beautiful than human harmony.

Coolest shit in life ranked:

1. Getting laid
2. High fives with total strangers at a game because our team won
3. Free pizza

Life is pretty screwed up, but there's always funky music.

Never forget, the only person in charge of your emotions is you, and you're allowed to feel however you want.

Nothing better than pro sports in the morning, except getting laid in the morning.

After talking about it for years, I'll finally make the trip down to Visalia to watch the Ports play against the Rawhide this weekend.

I honestly have zero hope for the future, both my own and this country. Everything is terrible and I'm powerless to do anything.

I take solace in the fact that John Fisher will be dead long before me and I'll be able to routinely piss on his grave until I join him in hell.

#OpeningDay

Spring has sprung! Now go get laid.

As someone that was laid off 2 months ago and currently dealing with a bonkers job market, I would be absolutely thrilled if I could make a career from protesting. All this time I've just been giving it away for free!

It's always extremely satisfying to hit my daily step goal before noontime.

Yeah, things right now are all weird and shitty, but it's Fabulous Friday, the sun is shining again, and I have cold beers in the fridge.

Seven years is too long to wait, I need that asteroid to hit us sometime in the next couple of months.

Getting plenty of exercise on a daily basis is the really easy part. Developing the discipline to have a balanced diet is where it gets hard, especially as a stoner.

All of a sudden everything is back to normal. No ads whatsoever. I'm glad, but still, what the hell?

Company That I Applied To Three Months Ago: Sorry, we went with another candidate!

Me: No shit, I assumed that when I didn't hear anything for THREE MONTHS.

Welp, just found out that the music playing app (Muzio) I purchased a "lifetime" subscription to 4 years ago now wants $5.99 PER WEEK to not inundate me with ads. Keep in mind, this isn't even a streaming app, it plays music I downloaded that I ALREADY PAID FOR. Fucking insanity.

The Business Finance course I'm taking this semester seems like it will be way less stressful than the Managerial Economics class I had in the fall session. I'm happy as hell!

The first thing that came to mind during today's finance lesson when the professor mentioned 'Business Ethics.'

To all the babies bitching about the Dodgers spending more money than your favorite team, just be glad you still have a fucking team.

I hadn't heard of Overtime Elite until today, but it seems like an interesting concept and the basketball is pretty good so far.