The Onion has successfully bought InfoWars. Happy 4/20. 😂

stock market surges as donald trump weighs in on nfl measure to eliminate the tush push, strait of hormuz to remain closed indefinitely

In the same manifesto, Palantir's owners argued that we need a national military draft, that soft power is over, and that we were too hard on Germany and Japan after World War II. I don't think that company should be allowed to exist anymore.

I love this so much.

Barack Obama sat down with Mayor Zohran Mamdani in a Bronx child care center, reading “Alone and Together,” a book about connection, community, and belonging to preschoolers.

Sidebar: Not sure these little-ones knew who Obama was 😂

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

they’re calling it the fakest economy of all time

[shocked pikachu.jpeg]

The Minneapolis Dildo Brigade asked protestors across the country to participate in a Dildo Day of Action outside of ICE facilities and it went about as well as you can imagine 🥲 in Portland, Chicago, and L.A.

There was juggling, cornhole, drumming, frogs: the works. 🫣

Wait.

Did they tell Trump to say the screenshots of his Truth Social post were "doctored," but he misunderstood and said it was a picture of him as a "doctor"?

Imagine not seeing the hypocrisy in claiming to be passing a “protect free speech” bill while banning student walkouts.

That’s Gino Bulso and the @TNGOP for ya! wpln.org/post/tenness...

Mind you, this is only happening because:

1. DC “insiders” like The NY Times and etc didn’t want to actually report the news and tongued the assholes of these politicians instead.

2. The bird app kept throttling their engagement until they pivoted to harassing politicians.

i bet this goes crazy if you’re a dumbass

In major win for voters, judge blocks Indiana GOP’s student ID ban While Indiana argued the ban was necessary to protect election integrity, the court found no evidence that student IDs had ever posed a problem.

🚨BREAKING: A federal judge Tuesday blocked Indiana’s ban on using student IDs for voter identification, a victory that will make it easier for students and young voters to cast ballots in the upcoming midterm elections. www.democracydocket.com/news-alerts/...

Dave Chappelle's show was comedy that was actually socially conscious & aware & on the edge of confronting whiteness & power. He chose to commit himself to getting as rich as he can be & hating marginalized people. He didn't fulfill the promise of what he was when he came out & we owe him nothing.

I love paying TurboTax a few hundred bucks every year to figure out how much money I owe the government, which the government already knows, but won't tell me because TurboTax pays legislators to keep the government from telling me. 😍

conservative free speech is when they speak and you listen or suffer the consequences

BREAKING: Maryland is about to become the first state in the nation to ban the use of surveillance data and dynamic pricing at grocery stores.

The Maryland House has just passed the Protection from Predatory Pricing Act.

Governor Wes Moore plans to sign the bill.

imagine if you hit powerball. imagine if you find out youre the secret heir to genovia and youre really anne hathaway. imagine dragons

I know this lady husband name not “dick tips”

Donald Trump is killing real schoolgirls in Iran and kidnapping and murdering real Americans in the streets. Interesting that the only thing he’s done that went “too far” for MAGA was an *imaginary* image. What a ridiculous world we live in.

Amazon, which saved $4B in taxes under Trump's Big Ugly Bill, has cut 30,000 jobs since last October.

Verizon, which saved $2B, plans to cut 15,000 jobs this year.

Meta, which saved $3B, plans to lay off 20% or more of its workforce.

Trickle-down economics is a cruel joke.

Kosovo was the first time I realized that all the proclamations of “never again” were bullshit

Even so, the continued destruction of Palestine feels like a unique shock because so many people who claim to care about human rights are actually supportive of it

I suppose you could call them... Hot Wheels...

For all those still feeling the moon joy—Artemis II was brought to you by public schools and publicly funded science. Copy that! 👩‍🚀🚀💕

*All four astronauts went to public schools!

i feel bad for our country but this is tremendous content

“sTiCk tO MaTtErS oF MoRaLiTy”

Bitch, he’s doing just that by calling y’all immoral.

Headline on Hollywood Reporter that reads ”Paddington 4, Escape From New York' Reboot in the Works”

I misread the headline as one movie and got very excited for a moment…

Exactly. @juliadavisnews.bsky.social points out this was not the first time👇🏽

Trump is very obviously lying (as usual) and anyone pretending to buy it is just telling on themselves

FYI, Star Trek was never subtle about its politics. Having Black, Russian, and Asian crew members treated with respect was a political choice for a show in the 1960s.

You're just mad the needle has moved beyond the issues of your day.