Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

my body is currently fighting off some sort of illness that is probably the fault of a 3-5 year-old and I am sitting here CHUGGING orange juice willing it to stream directly into my lymph nodes

it’s a great day for transphobes to eat shit

*doordashes a gallon of guacamole*

Black and white still from the 1939 movie Fifth Avenue Girl of Ginger Rogers on a park bench with Walter Connelly sitting next to her saying “now we can have lots of fun insulting the rich”

used to be men knew how to talk to a lady

... like from the outdoors? where the outside people are?

do we think my partner will still love me if I've eaten all the guacamole by the time he comes home

as always I feel like ONE MORE DAY would be the right amount of weekend

I mean literally THOUSANDS of people had to do their job impeccably to get your plane put together and flown safely to the correct place! That deserves a round of applause!

oh nooooo

an asshole cat sits on my lap

how does this fucker always know the exact minute I run out of wine and pick THAT MOMENT to become a lap cat so I can’t get up for more

ok THIS is what would turn me into a brooch girlie

ugh I've been resisting becoming a brooch girl but I love him (this is not dibs, I'm going to ponder my life choices)

Photo I took of these wonderful people (the faces of whom I’ve blacked out) singing happy Birthday to their lovely old dog at a bar I was at tonight in Portland

I was at a dog-friendly bar in NW Portland tonight and a table behind me started singing Happy Birthday and then I realized it wasn’t for a person but a really old dog who was wearing a crown and he was old and fucking adorable and I love this city

today a man at a child's bday party told me he liked my dress (a Nooworks) and that it reminded him of "a shop in Salem" and I was like "Modern Millie?" hahahaha my guy don't worry I am all over this one

What is done to the least of us, will be done to all.

black and white drawing of an underwater scene. a large bird sticking it's head into the water, surrounded by shocked fish

WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS

time to catch up on Summer House omg my body is ready

omg INCREDIBLE

A split bar chart of YouGov polling data with the headline: "Americans are most likely to say T. Rex is their favorite dinosaur, but many don't have a favorite." The chart has the sub-headline: "Which of the following is your favorite dinosaur? (%)." The chart has the note: "Note: "Other" includes responses of archaeopteryx, spinosaurus, plesiosaur, ankylosaurus, allosaurus, parasaurolophus, dilophosaurus, diplodocus, iguanadon, and pachycephalosaurus, as well as responses of "other." We know pterodactyls and plesiosaurs aren't dinosaurs. Opinion about dinosaurs comes from the question, "How much do you like or dislike dinosaurs?""

A shocking new poll result: Many Americans somehow don't have a favorite dinosaur.

And only 6% give the correct answer (triceratops).

Check out YouGov's new polling on Americans and dinosaurs: yougovamerica.substack.com/p/whats-your...

hm yes I do see how he would enjoy that

becca it took him a literal 36 hours to warm up to Jesse

what did you do to our cat

I tried to scritch Blueberry's little chin the same way I saw Becca do in her videos while she was catsitting and he DID NOT LIKE IT so I guess @ginthusiastic.bsky.social has to come back now, Blueberry needs New Mom

ok this one I like

Columbo (Peter Falk) holding Dog (a Basset Hound) with the LONE WOLF AND CUB logo in English and Japanese against a blue sky

Blame @paulhanna.bsky.social for this one.

I don't think I like this skeet

arrested??? I didn't know you were WEAK ON CRIME I want CAPITAL PUNISHMENT HERE

I too am 40-50 years old so we'll be a great pair

oh hell yeah, I'll take that big boi

that is so cool!