Ruin seems quite popular these days.

Only the poor get to experience the cold, heartless free market. The rich enjoy all the socialism they flight so hard to deny the rest of us.

Wow, I never expected it would be MAGA that convinced me to go vegan

He misspelled "ruin".

My first order would be that I be immediately deposed in a bloodless coup.

Great, after I already paid for one.

I keep telling me you need to wait until I tell you what your opinion is.

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for a horror not meant for mortal eyes. I present to you...

After Greg Abbott took theirs, Houstonians are painting rainbows everywhere "The more rainbows I can paint, the better."

"The more rainbows I can paint, the better."

If my wife ever comes to her senses and leaves me, I'll do me and womankind a favor and join a monastery.

He's a very good boy and I love him.

I mean, I was kung-fu fighting and didn't see anybody not kung-fu fighting.

I can think of no better last words than, "I should have spent more time at the office."

Après moi, le déluge,

Back before dirt, I worked in retail for a while and our coked out store manager said Christmas starts in August.

I didn't like him.

The first one looks like futurism to me.

He's a good boy and I love him.

How can Chewie make the jump to light speed if it's twice as fast?

When she's a 10 but her face...

That's why I never forget a face.

Sorry I refuse to entertain the complete non-existent world where white people don’t know that countless cultures, including some of their own but certainly diasporic racialized ones, call their mom’s cousin’s friend’s sister they grew up with “cousin” and call close women elders “aunt/auntie”

But they just started sounding good. 😭

What goes around comes around.

Voters*

*Subject to change

You are mistaken, sir. This old body hasn't been in frolicking shape since aught four.

Tech bros invented publicity.

C Thomas Howell. Howl, Thomas, howl.