See, this is the stuff I think is a psy-op. “Do you want to be in recovery or do you want to be normal? Secretly paid for by Wegovy.”

Anyway I think there’s sorta too much going on for revolving main character syndrome.

I made a sad discovery yesterday that there are Paul is Dead deadenders on YouTube yesterday. What actor is capable of writing “Here Today?” or “My Ever Present Past?” Get lost.

Meme with a photo of a fountain drink machine with a cup sitting under two nozzles (red and blue), a hand pushing both buttons at once and liquid coming from both nozzles. The blue (left) drink is labelled "grateful for the insight I have gained from all my experiences" and the red (right) drink is labelled "still thinks some of that sh*t should not have happened". The hand is labelled "me".

My cousin Shawn took weed to impress a girl when we were teenagers and his asshole & penis switched places. All the doctors at the (real) Pitt threw up when they saw it. Be my guest and Get “high” if you want this to happen to you

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

Words fail me, even “dude” or “dude, no way.”

Absolutely incredible.

NASA Astronaut Reid Wiseman, who commanded Artemis II, took this footage from the far side of the Moon with his iPhone.

Watch with sound on.

The Dollop had a whole three parter on him (!) he is genuinely disturbing.

Alright man whatever you say

I assume you mean all three.

Poll: Is your baseball team good rn?
Like for no. Repost for no. Reply for no.

A lot of dunks, and no attempts to alert the authorities. This person is being held hostage somewhere. There’s no other reason to put these sentences in this order. No one has this kind of tin ear And the absence of humility to loudly boast of it for hours at a time. Prayers for a swift recovery.

the longstanding pro-madonna take is actually that the songs are good what the fuck are you talking about?

Mike Gianella @MikeGianella Mets Slogans 1980: The Magic Is Back 1986: Baseball Like It Oughta Be 1992: Hardball Is Back 2000: Amazin' Again 2004: Catch The Energy 2006: The Team. The Time. The Mets. 2014: Dreams Die Here 2018: Life Is A Fiery Hellscape at Citi Field 2022: Fuck You 2027: Too Cheap for Slo 10:07 PM • 12/13/17 from Earth dil View Tweet activity 49 Retweets 6 Quotes 150 Likes

They booed Stephen Colbert out of the room, don’t let them tell you otherwise

post from Jake Tapper Going to a formal event that celebrates Freedom of the Press where some of the other guests don't understand the importance of the 1st Amendment? The Reporters Committee for the Free Press has some great accessories - including the below pocket square! donate.rcfp.org/first-amendment rctp.org [photo of the pocket square, which reads: CONGRESS SHALL MAKE NO LAW ABRIDGING THE FREEDOM OF SPEECH, OR OF THE PRESS!]

canceling all my plans and taking to my bed due to a severe bout of secondhand embarrassment

People are out here.

Uh oh

Yeah, I was trying to come up with a good metaphor for this tweet in the context of his threatened law suit. “Place your defamation suit into this tweet and watch it dissolve!”

So wait, is the lawsuit still happening, or what?

Film and sequel make more sense if yes, so that’s what I choose (though he definitely is not in Dick’s novel).

There is always a kind of atheist who seems most upset that the masses don’t recognize that the atheist himself is God, by dint of his self-professed intelligence. I’ve seen most of them grow out of it, though.

Ding, ding, ding

Also follow @souljagoyshmulik.bsky.social

trumps appointees being alcoholic incompetents and trumps jan 6th supporters being pedophiles seems like something historians are going to be studying tbh

What are thoooooooose? (Genuinely)

My personal Goodfellas needle drop is a coked up Ray Liotta trying to out drive the helicopters to the strains of “Jump Into the Fire” by Harry Nilsson.

Lust For Life

What was the context?

Glad you’re okay, get their ass.