I’m always running into Guy Fieri at my favorite clothing and jewelry stores

Why is that still the national anthem? No one feels pride in what is barely a tune. Let’s just do something else.

For context, this snowstorm has been known about for a good week and started like five hours before they said "prepare now"

Email from this morning saying to "prepare now" for heavy snow that's already hit and long-known.

ConEd not really on the ball here

The bus should play the driver’s playlist.

I thought I’d have more arguments to this, but it’s pretty accurate. The Honey Smacks frog maybe.

After I die, the rest is fan-fiction of what happened with existing.

I'm sick of seasonally restricting it to snowmen. In the new year, I'm going to pretend a LOT of things are Parson Brown asking me if I'm married.

I posted on my phone and recognize the end is muck

This is a garbage photo, but @kartoonistkelly.bsky.social should see I have had a two-foot sicko in the window for two-years straight—and this year, the people across the street put a neon JESUS SAVES cross and only that in what I hope is a response.

We all have them

Nobody’s perfect. Even Powder. Who I think was Young Indiana Jones but also not sure of that.

POWDER 2: POWDER 2 THE PEOPLE YouTube video by BMRC OLDIES

Watch the sequel though

youtu.be/Tv5lYwO5IlU?...

Yeah, but I think he brought a deer back to life or something, so

I hear so many chimps scream, so I'm trying to think...

But what if we keep him frozen long enough to find a cure for Medusa’s Curse?

Bad news for those repeatedly trying to murder their partner:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright,
won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

I was flying blind before,
and it was fucking insane—
flying deer leading me through Stygian darkness,
blanket of snow muting my shrieking horror.
I thought every chimney would be my last.

Then how the reindeer loved him...!

Just filling his assigned word count

Might have to pick this up to find out what this fella’s deal was (or is???).

Plus, his love life!

Fine, you’re right again. This should have been Spice World.

I realize now I accidentally wrote "quite" instead of "quiet," so who am I to talk?

Trump's "quite, piggy" thing ranks pretty low in his upsetting acts, but as a former writer/editor, it does upset me people keep leaving out the vocative comma.

It was on clearance so I’m just going with the deluxe Sully Sluttenburger costume

Karaoke crowds love it if you sing Pink Floyd's 7-minute, often-instrumental "Comfortably Numb" and keep changing the lyrics to "Pleasantly Plump."

Through all your jobs, have you not done idle chatter? Have you not seen Clerks?

Not true. You got me into the mostly-good Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines, setting me up for the belated sequel that seems like dogshit.

No one is really blowing off a smoking pistol these days. Lazy.

Tennesee Set to Execute Only Woman on State's Death Row. Here's What to Know. Also, she loosely looks like Sarah Paulson.

That Sarah Paulson will 100% be playing her in the next American Crime Story.