This is what needed to happen as soon as crApple stopped letting people swap batteries.

"It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it." ~ Julia Child

Did you know that as head of state, threatening war crimes IS a war crime?

He's such a freakazoid

If old people need to do a second driving test to continue driving in old age there definitely needs to be some better controls on having someone completely senile continue to be allowed to run a country.

The FBI guy is on a paranoid bender and won’t leave his room.

The War guy quotes bible passages from Pulp Fiction.

The Health guy collects raccoon dicks.

It’s an Idiocracy on steroids.

I do not want to create an account or open a subscription I just want to buy a thing and never hear from you again why is this so hard.

The head of the FBI isn't supposed to be getting blackout drunk. He's supposed to be cross-dressing

Here’s a feed cleanser.
Dogs catching treats.

Since I am being asked in my replies....a leftist is someone whose politics focus on reducing inequality and shifting power away from elites toward ordinary people.

I personally think a leftist is someone who is anti-capitalist. Who doesn't believe the system can correct itself.

I made a great one last night.

We ate at 9:30pm because this is accurate.

Can you imagine if we actually prosecuted the Epstein class? Like 85% of societies ills would vanish overnight.

My wife and I have decided that we don't want to have kids. We're going to tell them tonight at supper.
#joke

I pay every penny I owe in taxes, but I must say that this year really felt like a gut-punch on account of all the illegal shit that the federal government is doing with our hard-earned money

Hiiiiii

Pope is weak on crime would be the all time funniest last post before It Happens

look I'm not saying white men should be banned from holding political office (and judicial positions) in the US for a decade or so, just that it would probably lead to a Star Trek-like utopia.

Also making coffee cost $7 fucking dollars.

Everyone please welcome CBS News Immigration Analyst Viktor Orban.

My view on my flight today. Little bugger snorted and grunted for the entirety of the flight. It was perfection.

ARTEMIS II MISSION REQUIREMENT:
🇺🇸🇨🇦🇺🇸🇨🇦🇺🇸🇨🇦🇺🇸🇨🇦🇺🇸🇨🇦🇺🇸🇨🇦

Its really no wonder dems lost in 2024, as SO MANY PEOPLE seem to assume that voting doesn't matter and dems can push through bills and investigstions from a minority.

And no, the gop didn't do it before.

One of my cartoons in Monday's Metro

When I was a kid I regularly ate a family size chicken noodle for dinner. I think it might literally kill me if I tried that now... That's at least 5000mg of sodium in one sitting 😂

I hope they make at least ONE movie about Jan 6 - or any aspect of this national crisis - before John Waters dies, because he needs to play Lindsey Graham.

I was looking at soup cans the other day and a tiny thing of Campbell's was apparently 2½ servings. Granted it's condensed, but like WTAF are you talking about? ½ a cup is a full serving?? That's a mouthful of damn soup!

In Turkey, an elderly man who earns his living by shining shoes is visited every morning at the same time by a cat that asks to have its fur brushed. The man never turns down this little friend.😍👍💙

I did the same a few years back right when Israel started really blowing everything up and some terrible other things had just happened and the N.P. was laughing right along with me 😆😭