nerd.

Give the gift of one hundred dollars in cash this Christmas

No. But we’re taking the Jerma two hundred dollar bill idea. That’s fire

We did it for you Canis

The official final pressings will be flattened into Disneyland souvenir coins

We’re coming for the nickel next. You’re on watch, Thomas Jefferson.

230 years too long #rip

The US Mint is officially retiring the penny. Many people are calling this “the worst thing to happen to Abraham Lincoln”

We have received a lot of feedback about the new silver dollar portraying President Trump. In light of that feedback, we will be making it a GOLD dollar coin instead. Thank you for your attention to this matter. #SilverDollar #Trump #Coin

MAKE AMERICA PRINT A BUNCH OF MONEY AGAIN!

Apologies, we have to mint the coins. We’ve rolled over and showed the President our soft underbelly

ow ow ow I tripped so hardddd fuck man ouch my knee all fucked up shit fuck man that hurt

Nah we making this coin

What is the TL;DR on this? Our attention spans have been fried.

The “infinite money glitch” is real and we’re not telling you what it is

idk man I’m trying to blaze rn

Will do. He will be missed.

As for your question, we just sent out our pennies for the year last week. Sorry champ.

Stopped printing money early today, we had a technician fall into the printer today and he was compressed in the roller. Head blew off like a car slowly running over a tube of toothpaste.

If you didn’t like this then you’re REALLY gonna hate what we’re doing to the 100 dollar bill…

This is cool, you know what else is cool? A billion dollars

This Pride Month we’re giving away “Woke Bucks”. They’re each worth $10,000 and cops can’t use them

We here at the US Mint formally challenge Elon Musk to a game of Heads or Tails to decide our fate

We cant stop printing money, the printer learned to give us a treat every time we use it (Pavlovian-style)

Pennies but both sides are tails, no one gets lucky 😈

Y’all fw dimes? They kinda useless no? I guess like parking meters take them but most take debit cards now anyways…

You can’t tell us what to do. We print all the money

Big Pink does not have permission to print money. That would be illegal.

Thank goodness the dollar is safe! 😁 Get yours now at participating locations!

THE. PYRAMIDS. ARE. CLUES.

Please do not send us jokes/puns. We are a very serious institution.