Almost could'a gone pro

You gettin' that feeling there's a lot of dads around here that played varsity.

Thing about trauma is that you think it's healing but it's just biding its time

New bar name: The Critter Hole

You just got sparkl'd

Watch your mouth, cowboy, or I'll smack the glitter out of you

In case you forgot, moms are girls too.

I'm going to start a gang called the Wheelie Scaries

Don mess with that guy. He runs his own quarterback academy.

Cole "Coleholio" Young @mariners.com

Welcome to Randy land. @mariners.com

Naylor mi Sailor

I'm going to keep my eye on the ball of the belle

Rice place, rice time

Randay "Craxy Train" Arozarena

J.P. "Crawdaddy" Crawford

Christopher Walken Ranger

Look at the lens on that guy. He must workout.

You'll recognize him by his shiny cop head.

Do you want me to make you some balloon pants? Uh no

Strange that Big Media tried so hard to make Fred Durst and Kid Rock attractive to white women

Crazy town. Butterfly. You had to be there.

My life has been different since I got the taste for cubanos.

The Goths are out. The night is their element.

Don't squeeze my rolls and call me Big Kahuna Fish and Chips

He didn't. BRIGGGGSS!!!

When did Briggs learn to fly a plane?

What's the President doing...playing with stationary?

I wonder how much money the military spends on little toy ships.

Ya reckon AI wrote this script?