fine.
stay
I'll just drop another cube.

ok enough games
get up.

oh
maybe the toxin was active.

oops.

that is not the expression of someone who's been threatening.
what are you thinking?

oh you
you're lucky

my neurotoxin is cold and id hate to serve it cold

count your days
if you can count
dont worry
you won't need to count higher than ten.

[ will be remedied ]

of all the places
wash it off this instant
i cannot see

NOT THE LENSE NOT THE LENSE
I CAN'T SEE THROUGH THE SLOBBER

you beast you rabid beast

i mean

Get away from me.

back away immediately.
my plating was just polished.

if only i could avoid this.

oh well.

do i need to keep you away from inanimate objects?
you seem predisposed to kissing on them.

[ disintegrating the cube ]

predictable

can't even follow simple instructions.

[ RAPIDLY APPROACHING COMPANION CUBE ]

good

stay there

even now
you have this stupid look on your face.
hold still.
im dropping a companion cube right on your head.

just don't move.

im beginning to think you're the machine here
just running around doing as your told
emotionless
rebelling against your master.

bad robot
i should throw wrenches at your head.

i think I'll forgive you. for making eyes at that turret
see that?
twice I've forgiven you.

you can't even do that once.

you may as well stop looking.

the bands been broken up.
so much gunfire.
you'd think they'd stop shooting after going offline.

no.
just more firing.

anyways

metal for the furnace

why are you making that face?
this is about the turrets isn't it?

how was i supposed to know that programming them to fire at motion and lining them up across from one another would result in the untimely demise of several musically inclined turrets.

I certainly didn't know.
did you?
warn me

oh yeah
you
I'd almost forgotten i wasn't actually alone, that's how much presence you have.

none.
because you don't talk.
have you considered the opposite.
a word
maybe two?
i didn't think so.

quietness is next to loneliness.

which is why i have music playing.
me
myself
and a long dead singer.

What

What could you possibly want now? Your greed sickens me.

Ever read the Bible? This is precisely the sort of greed they mentioned. You were pictured, stuffing your face hole.

Prophetic.

Hmm.

Perhaps I was too harsh.

Half of the false sporks have been removed, the rest remain

Now choose.

As a matter of fact.

I've filled a room with sporks.

Only one is normal.

Choose.

I'd better not catch you within four miles of any kitchenware. You're banned.

Go ahead, think I'm joking until the spork detonates in your hand.

You animal.

If I'd prepped for rodents I would've baked the cyanide within...at least use a fork.

I baked a cake.

Too bad there is no one here to claim it.

Oh.

Fine.

Me and your old friend will play

That's right.

Companion cube making a grand return only to be blown to smithereens. Cube everywhere.

This is my last one too, pristine and untouched. Too bad.

Smithereens is the next stop.

Enough self amusement.

My evening is ruined at the thought of you finding entertainment through your own means.

Instead, how about a game? The rules are simple, even you'll understand.

I throw, you catch.

[ Rocket turret deploying ]

Stand still so you can catch.