Grant me the hubris of a middling boomer accountant the week after tax season in a suburban chain steakhouse

Unfortunately, Rickety Cricket (Greg Bovino) somehow ended up with his duster jacket…I’m sure we’ll get that episode soon.

Someone here has to mention Daniel Day Lewis, I guess

Shoutout to “ ahh, man”, and “are you fuckin’ kidding me?”

Debating what phrase I’ve muttered the most under my breath in my lifetime and it’s a dead heat between “shit”, “goddammit”, and “righty-tighty, lefty-loosey”.

I was so infuriated with The Return until I wasn’t. It is not what you want it to be but becomes what it always was supposed to be and you end up loving it. I cursed it out week to week and ended up crying so much at the end. Stick with it- so rewarding.

Jack Donaghy talking about the riveting oven

Yo!

Scene from Raising Arizona with Nathan Arizona saying, “They had Yodas and shit on’ em!”

I just realized that with The Mandalorian and Grogu being a month away, that this is how I will be describing every product in stores to my wife:

Real heads know…

When the unstoppable toilet meets the immovable bathtub 🤌

Repurposing a whole bunch of these to write a better remake of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” than Fall Out Boy (which won’t be hard)

Christmas Explorers meeting spot from One Battle After Another

We go now to Butler Cabin for the awarding of the Green Jacket…

a monkey wearing a crown and a necklace says is that legal Alt: Episode I scene where an alien asks “Is that legal?” Stop defending these movies people, they are god-awful with a handful of interesting ideas sprinkled in

Watching people defending the Star Wars prequels due to current events has me feeling like:

“What do you mean she had that diamond the whole time?!?! She kept it during The Great Depression?!?!”

Rose is such a terrible character

We both are still angry at it to this day because we chose to see it over First Man which we never saw in the theater and which would have absolutely ripped on the big screen.

All she has to say to piss me off is, “Maybe it’s time to let the old ways die.”

I saw this with my girlfriend at the time and when the lights came up we both stared at each other waiting to see who would say something first.

“What did you think?”

“That sucked.”

“Oh thank God.”

We walked out laughing while everyone else was teary eyed.

We are now happily married.

My family loves this movie and I get viscerally upset whenever it’s on. Holidays are fun.

WHY IS RICK FROM THE WALKING DEAD TRYING TO BANG HIS BEST FRIENDS NEW WIFE ON THEIR WEDDING DAY??!!! YOU KNOW SHES ONLY FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN THE KID THAT PLAYS DRUMS!! WHERE IS THE BOURBON!!!

When Rose finds Jack dread and said “I’ll never let go Jack!” I laughed out loud in the theater.

It was opening night and the screening was completely full. I can still feel the collective hatred of all those people, but in my defense the movie does suck.

Having a toddler is awesome:

Get woken up early on a Sunday to be told they have on the wrong pajamas, they become inconsolable because the right pajamas need to be washed and are unavailable

Insist they need a smoothie rather than the nice breakfast you made, then declare the smoothie isn’t good

Science is good. We should fund it.

Dammit- I had a version of this joke in my drafts and got distracted by kids and Artemis. Ichiro beats me yet again…