Why doesn't Monday to Thursday ever go as fast as Friday to Monday??

Put on one of my polos for the first time in 7-8 months and the sleeves don’t fit no more

World Cup Debacle 🧵 part 1

I'm just going to start a thread of all the flashing-red-light-klaxon-alarm warning bells red flags etc that prologue the upcoming FIFAdumpsterfire Fyre Festival World Cup between transit issues, ticket economics, travel bans & visa issues, & you know... ICE kidnapping people in broad daylight.

Might need to run back the OG and Kora for old times sake

Being Black >>>>>

It’s beautiful 🥹🥹 i could weep

a man in a yellow shirt is standing in a gym ALT: a man in a yellow shirt is standing in a gym

China cruising thru the Strait of Hormuz:

The gasp I just gusp

The level of haram ball we are about to witness, Satan himself might be officiating the game.

We blindly put our faith into any random soft serve ice cream truck not making us violently ill. It’s one of our better unspoken social contracts.

Crushed my presentation at work. I was prepared, detailed, answered questions confidently all while having never written this type of high level technical documentation 🤣

Always keep your word. Always pay em back.

if real, that Avatar: The Last Airbender leak looks sensational. That is going to be a blockbuster

Guehi celebrating is lowkey wild but fairs.

There is no feasible way to truly explain how bad this film is.

Riz Ahmed's character in "Bait" is somehow a worse person than "Ramy". Which is a feat bc dude was a scumbag lol Bait is exceptional but damn I am rooting for him to fail

PRECISELY

We really just need to get back to fuckin niggas up in office spaces.

Microwaving fish? Five across the eyes.

Eating other people’s food? Timbs to the limbs.

"Superspreading Negligence" is a phenomenal band name. Dibs.

Correct. This was him shenaning again. My other coworker, a manager, was straight up was like "he need to run me my fade RYNEH" 💀

Annoying Co-W: * blows nose standing over an open coffee pot *

Cool Co-W: * justifiably berates annoying co-w for being extra clueless and gross *

Me: He gon’ cry in the car.

Turns out, he actually did leave the office to cry 💀💀 felt sorta bad but read the room. And yes, yes he is.

There is an absolute zero % chance that we won’t start crying laughing every time me, @cornelstressed.blacksky.app, & @iambonezofficial.bsky.social get on a FaceTime. ZERO.

Just imagine, y'all, Just imagine the literal global week long block party with fireworks, the grill and smoker cooking, the drinks flowing, and everyone loving on each other when IT happens.

I call my girl's her "beautyhole". Great way to reframe it lol

lol my manager sent me an email last wednesday saying I was getting a raise and I aint check it until today. I have been blissfully unaware till now

ritz crackers and cream cheese >>>>

It took me way too long to realize this but grilled cheese with tomato soup is just deconstructed pizza.