hey. those go somewhere

i learned about a grandson song that i hadnt heard before and it arrived in my life at the Perfect time. thanks granny

im so sick of that same old shit
im so sick of hearin "not right now"
i hope one day it gets better than this
i gotta get it some way, somehow
im so sick of that same old shit
im so sick of feelin six feet down
i hope one day it gets better than this
i gotta get it some way, somehow
how about now?

yes, we'd love that!! thanks so much dude ;;

spouse has been really helpful and giving us harsh truths, and supporting us through The Horrors. as have friends and the therapists i see. sad that this is interfering with my schoolwork. ugh

anyway wow things are so fucking bad. like bordering on "considering asking for prayers/good vibes/concrete Help" level bad. i hope we catch a break (or several) soon, but realistically it'll probably be one thing after another for a bit :/

a dream (1/2)

🐦‍🔥 having the kinda week that structured dissociation is made for. fuck, yall, im tired of having to Survive Shit-- *listening in on earpiece* what's that, we already posted about this? well shit

anyway.... i'll... write an intro post eventually, like i meant to, before all my plans were up-ended by yet another thing

CW for discussion of sexual assault, threat of violence, self-destructive behaviour and depression.

Please take the warning seriously before reading. Thank you.

Protector #brainbunnies

one of my main "roles" in here is giving recaps to younger shards of me, so they can get caught up with present-day reality. some of us are also prone to emotional regression in certain circumstances, so helping them through tough moments is also my job. really got my work cut out for me this week

i'm also one of the only ones of us who still thinks to use social media for anything, and who is less* anxious about talking to others/posting so here i am.

*i am still an anxious beast... but we'll take less anxious any day :')

🐦‍⬛ what's up! i'm petsitting for my mom on short notice while everyone in my brain is going through Some crisis or other! being here is activating So many old neural pathways and causing a lot of emotional flashbacks so that's making everything even spicier.

ive been talking to one of my longtime online-turned-local friends about plurality more, just so i can slowly be more authentically me (or us, as it were) around more loved ones. showing him alteredpanel has opened up a Lot of conversations about my experiences, what resonates, etc. i love you art!!

alteredpanels keeps hitting so hard lately (they say, as if alteredpanels hasn't been hitting hard since we first discovered it last october)

focus energy (1/2)