preview of a sticker of a gray cartoon striped cat holding a knife. the caption reads "yeah i have stability, ability to stab"
yeah i have stability
get the sticker here: mcapriglione.art
If I use the humidifier, I have a splitting headache because my body hates humidity. But if I don't use it, I can't breathe because my nose is too dry, and my skin is bleeding in random places.
Bodies were a mistake.
Cashier: I'm so curious why you need all this peroxide
Me: Oh, to bleach bones
Cashier: ...
Me: ...deer bones
Cashier, lowering voice to a whisper: Honey, I wouldn't blame you either way
Fellas, I don't think you realize how many women are normalizing the idea of doing what we have to do now.
Still all out of wit. We're $1135 short with May almost here. I need to increase the goal to cover May but I'm holding off hoping we can clear April first. Not just for the goal but so we don't end up stacking months' of overdue.
Who can help get us closer today? Even sharing can make a difference!
And I think it's because I generally am in the room because I'm winding down for bed too, and if I happen to not be when he wakes up, because I'm in the bathroom or went to talk to M, he gets scared. But during naps he doesn't expect me to be there so he's fine.
As for the sleep training, I keep trying to figure out why the first couple of hours every night are so hard. The first 2-3hrs, if he wakes up and I'm not there, he panics. After 3hrs, he's fine either way. And during his naps (usually ~2hrs) he'll wake up and then settle himself before I get there.
I need this child to sleep so I can stop with this nonsense lol
Idk if his name is Blueberr or maybe Bleubert 🤣
We're spending a lot of time with B's lovie, now that he's old enough to have it in the crib and as I'm trying to sleep train in the gentlest way possible. And the lovie's name is Blue Bear, because he is blue and a bear, lol. But I always think of "blueberry" without the Y, or Robert in French.
Two black and white cats curled up on a gray donosa chair in front of a baby
My cats are way ahead of you
If you're bigger than the average 3yo I think you'll have to look a lot harder than MIL did for B's 😅
Sorry, you’re telling me that something that doesn’t feel pain, doesn’t have lactic acid build up, doesn’t need adequate hydration or electrolytes, doesn’t need to pee, and doesn’t get tired is only 6 minutes faster than humans?
you’ve fucked up a perfectly good Roomba.
Oh, and the chair has glow-in-the-dark dinosaurs printed on it.
B's birthday loot: two wooden puzzles, a set of blocks, a flip out chair, a set of stacking rings that looks like a cheeseburger, four toy cars, a radio toy, a dino plushie and an elephant plushie.
Also a busy board with switches, but the corners are too sharp so we'll have to get him another one.
Correct.
I accidentally-on-purpose overestimated how much cake we needed for B's birthday, so now I will have angel food cake with strawberry topping for breakfast every day this week. That's basically a pop tart anyway lol
I think I was perceived too much today. I took a selfie, and then I socialized (with people I like), and other people took pictures of me, and now I just feel gross and exhausted.
I used to be able to wear my contacts all day every day. Usually even slept in them. (Yeah, I know. Bite me.) And now I'm lucky if I get 6hrs before my eyes are just so tired that I have to switch back to my glasses.
B had a really nice birthday. Got to hang out with Grandma and auntie, and a couple of my friends came too. He got lots of presents and made a giant mess with angel food cake.
I hate to admit this but I bought it on Amazon
White woman with blue eyes and black hair, smiling and wearing a T-shirt that says "hex the patriarchy"
Hi.
Out of curiosity, I looked at it for his adjusted age, and if you go with that one, 64th percentile. But I think we can probably be done with the adjusted thing now. Average size, starting to talk, trying to walk. A little behind on eating solids, but that's okay, we'll get there.
Also according to the internet, he is in the 44th percentile for weight for his *actual* age, not his adjusted age. Which I believe means he is now a perfectly average-sized 1yo and has officially caught up 🥳
We made it! B is officially 1 year old.
This implies the existence of Lawful Bitchy. I like it.
He has fallen THREE MORE TIMES since that post, wtf. Please survive at least until your birthday, child.
Well, my life just flashed in front of my eyes. B was standing in front of the couch holding a toy in each hand and lost his balance and couldn't catch himself because his hands were full. He fell straight back on his head with the loudest thump I have ever heard. He's fine now but M and I are not.
Three layoffs in less than a year in a job market that ain't a party. April rent and bills are overdue, we're more than halfway to May already.
If you see this, will you please share it? Thank you for helping!
Paypal: affirmationgin at gmail
Cashapp/Venmo: showupforthis
gofund.me/74bb276c7
B has decided that demon growls are the most effective form of communication. So that seems to be right on track 😅
IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL
-Dril 5222012