*playing a California Raisins record for a friend* Pretty good right? These are raisins playing all the instruments

It is _our_ problem.

we've all got that one homie who is a piteous wretch scorned by man and beast alike

God dammit. Timing couldn’t be worse but here goes.

Chuck Schumer and I are launching our new podcast “Soul Deep: A Weekly Deep Dive Into the Music of Collective Soul” tomorrow. I do NOT support his latest decision and want to make clear this is strictly a music podcast. Please check it out

Emus might not be the ‘world’s dumbest bird’ after all Studying big birds might shed light on dinosaur behavior.

The dumbest bird is actually the North Island Brown Kiwi.

We will not be taking questions at this time.

www.popsci.com/environment/...

These are not the actions of people who have any concern about what their political opponents might do with the infrastructure they’re building. That’s how you know they intend to use said infrastructure to stay in power indefinitely.

the volume of great stuff we never see because somebody was afraid it was cringe is among the more damning aesthetic phenomena of this sad epoch

JUST IN: Another medical horror story in an affidavit from a USAID employee stationed overseas. Says his pregnant wife was not medevac-ed for emergency health care because of directives from DC. Took intervention of a U.S. senator to reverse — but was too late. s3.documentcloud.org/documents/25...

"shingles" is too cute a name for a terrible disease. fucked-up face-having purse dog-ass name. "this is Shingles, he's a toy pomradoodle; we feed him from an eyedropper every 23 minutes" etc. disease should be called something like "The Ferryman's Curse"

two watches is unhinged

“The algorithms know our habits and tastes. They can make our solitude seem fast paced.”

bro I cannot believe you'd do this to me on small business saturday

I don’t have many goals in life but I would love to be the first person in modern times to be killed by one of those dumb hat guys who guard the Tower of London

playlist titled "oof ouch my ears". 17 songs, 1h03

I have a whole spotify playlist just for songs that hurt my ears. It's one of my biggest playlists.

IRC, too.

Screenshot of the New York Times mobile app showing the headline “Vice President Kamala Harris was often derided as out of her depth. Now, she could lead the democratic ticket.”

It took NYT less than 4 hours to start in on Harris.

I've seen some pretty interesting video on the internet of cats playing the keyboard that calls into question what veterinarians have been telling us about the musicianship of cats.

GORDON RAMSAY: and the eggs, they are?
UGLÙK: they eggs. Taste good. Canapé.
RAMSAY: no I mean, where do you get the eggs
UGLÙK (gesturing towards Shelob’s lair): Get from big spider
RAMSAY: from big spider. Fuck me. Canapé eggs from big spider. Fucking hell.

a post rethreaded 32,768 times with 12,882 replies that's just "this sh*t just hit different" and its a picture of Fruit By The Foot

I didn’t know you on the hellsite so bring ‘em all.

How to save doc as pdf

“mind viruses” are just memes imo, so the phrase “woke mind virus” is a mind virus, and he is a carrier

I was annoyed and then a friend told me to use bullet time to stun that stupid little fucker

did you see this yet?

oh my god what is this?

so proud of you

What are the black spots near the eyes on the caterpillar?