You’re at Fogo and you order the Enhanced Churrasco. Which enhancement do you choose?

Shut up.

I get what Netflix and Disney+ are doing, but if I’m doing the paying, there’s no way you should be telling me what to do with my shit.

TaskRabbit boo. Make ya life a lil easier.

Sleepy as hell but I can’t sleep.

I’m sick of lames bro

I wanna run the Black Women’s Expo back but I don’t wanna pay for parking 😩

Clearly Canadian needs a bigger and taller bottle

Me: *tries to take a nap*
My brain & body:

Bro how old are y’all? This is getting ridiculous.

“I’m tired of being behind you”

If you’re a tv sleeper like me, choose black screen rain noises or even lofi or jazz. If you have to, look at some of the stuff they use for babies. You never know!

Me: I wanna get up
My body:

Also, look into bamboo and body pillows. Bamboo is a comfortable memory foam pillow that works wondersssssss and the body pillows do for us what swaddling does for babies.

1. Hide under them covers, it’s a decent alternative to blackout curtains.

2. White noise (I’ve recently discovered dark airplanes)

3. ASMR (I’m partial to baking soda crushing/sifting and soft ice eating)

4. Sleepytime tea (regular chamomile if you’re not a fan) add some lavender for some rizz

Confirmation.

Sometimes I like when niggas nig.

Like how to?

I was already contemplating smoking, but when you put it like this, I’m finna need 2.

Love my yapper, but it’s 8am and WE just woke up.

Them: You getting thick
Me:

Stomach out, titties out, ass out - Yeah bitch 🤷🏽‍♀️ what about it?

- The Book of Thee Stallion, Ch Whenever

Literally just woke up

Balsamic vinegar on a salad gon do it every time.

The shit is now on Netflix and I’m even more irritated than before

I been gone from here for too long, my bad y’all.

This is one of those days I wish I worked at a public school

😂😂😂 Merry Blackmas!

I’m tryna be Francine Smith tonight