tomorrow i'm going to fight past the urge to hide from the cold and do something i've been putting off for a long time. that's right i'm gonna learn to stick my own penis in my own butt

First you go to a cute walk with your wife by the river and see some funny duck, and next thing you know 2 weeks later you're taking an online ornithology class and birding in the sleet beside 12 people who woke up at 6 AM to stand in the middle of a swamp to see a weird bird with a long neck.

Stella got her groove back! Let’s goooo!!

Stella forever :)

With the help of the Sandy Hook families, The Onion has reached a long-awaited deal to take over InfoWars.

We've enlisted the help of @timheidecker.bsky.social, who will be InfoWars' Creative Director.

Please stand by for more.

to be genuine for a moment, working for the onion in this era has been one of the greatest experiences of my life so far. good things will continue to come

An official NASA portrait of astronaut Sunita Williams wearing a full white Extravehicular Mobility Unit (EMU) spacesuit. The bulky suit displays an American flag patch on the left shoulder, a mission patch on the right, and various controls on the chest pack; she holds the gold-visored helmet. With long dark hair framing her smiling face, she poses confidently in front of a large draped American flag against a cloudy Earth-toned backdrop, symbolizing American space exploration.

A color photograph of NASA astronaut Sunita Williams captured mid-stride running on a treadmill in zero gravity, secured by a white harness and bungee cords attached to her waist and shoulders. She wears a navy blue sleeveless top and shorts, athletic shoes, and gray socks, with her curly dark hair floating weightlessly. The busy ISS module around her features blue handrails, equipment racks, cables, monitors, and various floating items.

NASA astronaut Sunita Williams completed the #BostonMarathon in 2007 in 4:23:46 from the International Space Station while orbiting the Earth at ~17,500 mph. First person to run a marathon in space.

She qualified for Boston on Earth with a time of 3:29:57 in the Houston Marathon.

#WomenInSTEM

palantir should be viewed as the enemy of modern society

In the same manifesto, Palantir's owners argued that we need a national military draft, that soft power is over, and that we were too hard on Germany and Japan after World War II. I don't think that company should be allowed to exist anymore.

Amazon, which saved $4B in taxes under Trump's Big Ugly Bill, has cut 30,000 jobs since last October.

Verizon, which saved $2B, plans to cut 15,000 jobs this year.

Meta, which saved $3B, plans to lay off 20% or more of its workforce.

Trickle-down economics is a cruel joke.

I don’t think we talk nearly enough about the fact that corporations like Amazon, don’t pay a single cent to maintain the roads they use, the transportation system they use, the courts they use, they pay nothing for the infrastructure that is absolutely critical to their business.

WE Pay for

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

David Quinn • @DavQuinn X.com Gee, a book that demonises

When you are writing your piece of …. *checks notes* … fiction, please keep in mind that you may be upsetting very fragile people.
#speirgorm

Me every time I open my camera 😨

My favorite scene from the Bible

Tell me if I’m wrong but if people can go to prison for lying to Congress, then shouldn’t members of Congress go to prison for lying to the people?

Anne Hathaway bought the rights to a novel about a tradwife influencer who wakes up in 1855 and has to actually live the life she's been selling online. The book is called Yesteryear. It came out 3 days ago. The film rights were already sold to Hathaway, who will produce and star.

Holy shit, I have NEVER been more excited for a movie.

The crime of existing while trans. I commit it every day. 😩

This story is crazy! The Jim Dolan had a Knicks fan obsessively monitored at games just because she was trans.

Hey… I voted for wife for Stella and I’m here for delivery of that campaign promise!

rightwingers minds are amazing

Screenshot of mobile bsky not loading

Screenshot of Lord of the Rings. The main character says "All right, then. Keep your secrets."

The eyewatering hypocrisy writes itself.

[shocked pikachu.jpeg]

I did some research to try and figure out when my death date would be if there had been no treatment for my cancer. I don't know why I assumed it would be some date in the future, but, in fact, I passed the middle of the "no treatment survival" bell curve more than a year ago. Thanks chemo.

Happy Tax Day, New York. We’re taxing the rich.

Hochul Proposes Tax on N.Y.C. Second Homes That Are Worth $5 Million

We will be taxing the ultra-wealthy and global elites.