EXCLUSIVE: @theonion.com tells me they've struck a (long-awaited) deal to take over Infowars.
New PTFO on how America's finest (fake) news source trolled Alex Jones, with the blessing of Sandy Hook families — and what @bencollins.bsky.social is planning next — will be up soon
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We actually DID used to allow people to dispense morphine in their home, and in a convenient pocket-size bottle!
This is why regulation absolutely matters in our society.
Rooting for a Wild-Sabres Stanley Cup where either one tortured fan base will have something to celebrate or the universe will destroy itself
@cjzero.bsky.social after BUF goal 3, the rubes outside knock the barrier over
Buffalo Sabres might have the Mandate of Heaven????
It's the 30th anniversary, so there's only one way to celebrate it:
Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential?
The crucial thing to understand about Peter Thiel is that he adores "The Lord of the Rings" and no one in human history has ever so utterly completely missed all the salient points of what a book is about.
It's because they have the same assumption that the vast majority of the country has: functionality catholicity. They assume that anyone using the name Jesus all mean the *same* Jesus.
This is actually the Subway Mitch Hedberg was talking about.
Salute to an all-time tweet
I miss the days where I woke up and the President of the United States wasn’t threatening to bomb another country’s power plants and bridges.
the most interesting thing about this story is not the survey itself—which is a year old and has since been retracted over huge problems with the sample—but that media outlets keep trying to push stories of a massive religious revival among the young in absence of any evidence
See above @flatheadmama.bsky.social.
My son wanted a very random topic for his inhabitants to be discussing on his Tomodachi Life island.
I gave him the Cappadocian Fathers. 😁😁😁
Hello Kitty requires beans.
It happened in the places it was already effective in. SF was not one of them.
To be fair if I were Kash Patel I would also drink an enormous amount
On multiple occasions in the past year, members of a security detail had difficulty waking Patel because he was seemingly intoxicated, according to information supplied to justice department of White House officials. Our request for “breaching equipment” – normally used by SWAT and hostage rescue teams to quickly gain entry into the buildings – was made last year because Patel had been unreachable behind, locked doors, according to multiple their request
I’ve been drunk but never “call the breaching team” drunk
We should be learning from other countries...
the confidence level of every trump appointee is always inversely proportional to how things are going
I really don't think people understand that every single thing that the Black community has said about Racism in America has been proven to be true by Trump. That the majority of non-Black People are unaware of this despite the daily racist drivel does not go unnoticed in the Black community.
You know, instead of GoFundMes, what if we had a system where a whole bunch of us paid in money, and when health bills happened, that money was paid out?
Wait a minute.
A nationwide warrant has been issued in the first criminal charges against an ICE agent for on-duty actions during the enforcement surge in Minnesota.
It’s a telling indicator of media desensitization that the US government’s ongoing program of murder on the high seas—which according to the perpetrators has killed fourteen (14) people this week— is no longer a subject for much serious or sustained news coverage.