Well now wait just a minute…I’m just realizing I’m my girl’s first baddie. I need to be gentle. #baddie #marchmadness #ILoveSomali #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman

(Get a load of this guy drinking tequila like a sorority girl at Señor Frogs-half dancing, half crying and fully committed.) #springbreak #twerking #senorfrogs #nokings #existential #LaCasaDeLosFamososCol3 #uconn #presale #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/30/26

I used to be a half-naked, twerking spring breaker. Then I became a local news story. It’s called character building. #springbreak #twerking #existential #marchmadness #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/23/26

Better a has-been than a never-was—but where does that leave us? #oscars #sinners #seanpenn #leo #michaelbjordan #teyanataylor #ryancoogler #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/16/26

There aren’t enough vomit emojis on my phone to express how much I dislike your father’s thirst trap photo. #daylightsavings #vomitemojis #thirsttrap #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/9/26

I mansplained mansplaining to my new girlfriend. (She dumped me mid-sentence.) #mansplain #breakups #war #deladay #drunk #insecure #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 3/3/26

I’m here to announce that I’m moving to the beach. Sadly, this town just can’t compete with my thirst for chill vibes… #winterblues #summermemories #snow #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/23/26

I’m not the most confident person in the world, but I do look good in a mustache and blue jeans. #denim #styleicon#moustache #presidentsday #olympics #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/16/26

 I’d love to join you for salsa lessons, but I’m currently navigating some brand-new, extremely unsexy physical limitations. #valentines #valentinesday #badbunny #reggaeton #salsa #puertorico #superbowl #samdarnold #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/9/26

Everyone handing out life advice also has a favorite brand of weed gummies. #Seahawks #GRAMMYs #BadBunnyBarcelona #mamdani #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 2/3/26

Every town’s got a neighborhood nuisance. Turns out, it’s me.
#Minneapolis #Protesters #AbolishICE #Seahawks #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 1/26/26

Nice flip-flops. I’d love to be that carefree, but I have too many people depending on me. #footwear #Caleb #MLKDay #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 1/19/26

Yeah, heartbreak hurts, but have you ever gotten a new haircut and no one noticed? #mood #brokenheart #sad #heartbroken #heartbreak #bills #menshair #barbershop #hairstyle #wandasykes #hairstyles #haircut #hair #beard #beards #beardlife #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 1/12/26

I just binged all of the Sopranos and all I got was this lousy habit of mispronouncing “Gabagool” and “mutz-a-rell”. #thesopranos #jamesgandolfini #sopranosmemes #davidchase #thesopranosquotes #pauliewalnuts #ravens #venezuela #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 1/5/26

My life’s so good, I don’t even need alcohol! (But I’ve been microdosing-just in case.)  #newyearsresolution #newyears #microdosing #aaronrodgers #newyearnewyou #Baddies #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 12/29/25

Oh great, here comes Bob—bringing his signature chaos to the bar like it’s just part of the happy hour special. #bar #drunk #nightout #wasted #Christmas #ChristmasClassic #Xmas #SeasonGreetings #HappyHolidays #Vintage #family #reunion #Baddies #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 12/22/25

I grew up in a neighborhood that got worse by the day-but we had cable, so we didn’t notice. #netflix #netflixmovies #netflixandchill #strangerthings #robreiner #cable #hbo #videomusicbox #thebox #larrydavid #hbo #tv #mtv #cinemax #Baddies #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 12/15/25

As a man, you can either be funny or have money. This isn’t poetry-it’s just the facts. #christmas #christmasgifts #santa #christmasiscoming #christmascountdown #holidayseason #holiday #gifts #family #giftideas #MariahCarey #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 12/8/25

I ran all the way back here to say I’m sorry… now please call me an Uber before I die. #uber #sorry #soul #poser #fatty #work #tired #haircut #midlifecrisis #jalenrose #hiphop #richardpryor #whitehousexmas #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 12/1/25

Mom and Dad worry about me constantly, but if they knew you were in a dump like this, they’d have something else to talk about. #BlackoutWednesday #gratitude #givingthanks #GivingTuesday #Thanksgiving #blackfriday #football #friendsgiving #family #parents #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 11/25/25

If there’s a BBL payment plan, sign me up. I’d literally work my ass off. #bbl #tijuana #plasticsurgery #trending #viral #itgirl #haters #selflove #thatbitch #idgaf #girlspower #tiktok #model #fashion #thick #winter #weirdgirlwinter #zelda #chiefs #bills #skate #existential #art #mywingman 11/17/25

Your “vibe shift” sounds like a polite way of saying you turned conservative. #BlueWave #zohran #Congress #shutdown2025 #shutdown #USA #stockmarket #protest #congress #schumer #washingtondc #trump #vibeshift #ACA #SNAP #Medicaid #fetterman #HoldTheLine #ACA #existential #art #mywingman 11/10/25

I’m really into this Vanessa Carlton/Rage Against the Machine mashup-a passive protest anthem, for when you’re mad at the system but also kind of just vibing. #electionday #votezo #votezohranmamdani #zohranmamdani #nymarathon #nyknicks #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 11/3/25

 This Halloween, I'm going as the scariest thing I know …myself. #goth #spookyseason #halloween #gothmodel #naughty #halloweencostume #Baddies #Halloween2025 #HorrorIcons #HalloweenParty #sexycostume #happyhalloweeeeeeen #votezohranmamdani #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 10/27/25

If your brutal honesty was a band, you’d be Slayer. You “Show No Mercy”. #slayer #thrashmetal #shownomercy #speedmetal #80smetal #headbang #heavymetal #horror #goth #vampire #TrueMetal #florida #brutality #worldseries #Spooktober #voteMamdani #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 10/21/25

Everyone’s nostalgic for Y2K, but I prefer the Decade of Greed—better coke, bigger phones. #y2k #y2kfashion #kyliejenner #2000s #parishilton #bratzdoll #bratz #aesthetic #babyphat #cybery2k #80s #80snostalgia #britneyspears #TaylorSwift #lawsuit #texans #supermodel #coke #art #mywingman 10/6/25

Nothing’s a bigger turn-off than a guy showing me his bad tattoos… but honestly, the lack of self-awareness was kinda hot. #badtattoos #nyc #chinatown #tattoo #tattoos #inked #sleeve #ZohranMamdani #jayz #badbunny #existential #hot #sexy #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 9/29/25

Thanks in advance for my last drop of dopamine today—really needed that hit. #existential #dopamine #pleasure #brainhealth #mentalhealth #autumnequinox #italianbrainrot #monday #memes #boycottabc #boycottdisney #boycottdisneyplus #jimmykimmel #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 9/22/25

She’s gorgeous and brilliant—but let’s be honest, I’m only saying this because she’s not in the room right now. #NYFW #modeling #NYFW2025 #Emmys #Emmys2025 #deniro #hanaheinbinder #GoBirds #FlyEaglesFly #kelce #mets #panthers #FashionWeekNYC #existential #undergroundcomix #art #mywingman 9/15/25