I'm off to iron my tea-towels.

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And that's it. It was definitely misleading advertising, as it was pitched as an event just for Dump Him, Girl. However, the energy picked up once the mind-numbing interviews were over.

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Promotional graphic for “The Guardian Live Giveaway” featuring three items against a magenta background. 1. Green Pan slow cooker – silver appliance with caption: “Winner of best overall slow cooker on The Filter.” 2. Fujifilm Instax mini – white instant camera with caption: “Featured in best gifts for teens on The Filter.” 3. Bottle of Smith-Chapel Julienas Vayolette 2022 – wine bottle with caption: “Meera Sodha’s beaujolais pick from Uncharted Wines.” “@GuardianLive #GuardianLive” appears in the bottom left corner. A “LIVE” label and viewer count of 205 are shown in the top left. A notification bar at the top reads “vimeo.com is now full screen Exit Full Screen (Esc).” Video progress bar and control icons are visible at the bottom.

Three prizes are being given away to the audience just before we shut the doors on this madness.

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We must be approaching the end now. I hope Lawton is away to write a column for this week, because we all need our dose of petty squabbles.

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There's too much of a mix of questions to keep up. The energy is back into the room, but it wouldn't be the same if I reported it, so you'll just need to trust me.

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'Thoughts on Christmas adverts?' Really?

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More questions from the audience, including the inevitable, tedious, unoriginal one about AI – and all the panellists have been asked for a response.

I feel the same about these two letters as I did about the word 'Millennium' on 31 December 1999.

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Comment from Elizabeth posted one minute ago: “Will The Guardian consider combining Blind Date with You be the Judge? As a reader, I’d like to vote on someone else’s Blind Date, while the daters duke out a controversial household dispute.” Below the comment is a thumbs-up icon with the number 2.

Elizabeth may be onto something.

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Q&A screenshot showing two user-submitted questions. Jane K (9 minutes ago): “How would Police Dog Hogan T-towels be colour coded?!” (1 thumbs-up). Anonymous (12 minutes ago): “For Meera– if you couldn’t continue to cook what else would you like to do?” (0 thumbs-up).

Two of the questions submitted online for the Q&A.

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67% BELIEVE JAKE IS NOT GUILTY.

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The panel members are giving their opinions just now. A mixed skip of opinions.

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Chat screenshot showing three messages, all timestamped at 20:10. Anne-Marie Long: “Guilty of what?” MiddayDolomite (marked with “me” tag): “Dump him, girl!” Beatrice Beaubien: “I'm conflicted. Although I would hate to take Jake's joy away, the colour combination compromised if.”

I've deployed it.

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You be the judge live - Mentimeter Be heard, collaborate, and share ideas—make meetings and classes more engaging with real conversations.

Here's the voting link, should you want it: www.menti.com/alr2kezb4rte

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Lawton has asked about a compromise, not something that often makes it into the run-of-the-mill Dump Him articles.

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Husband has made it clear he has never asked Wife to iron these, even though she does.

The towels are from Ikea and similar budget shops, it is stated.

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Wife is also invested in keeping the place tidy, and only found out about the colour-coding when they called The Guardian.

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Sidebar: Georgina Lawton deserves her own daytime chat show in the style of the Trisha Goddard show.

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'Unsurprisingly, this is about control' says Husband as he describes the colours and how cooking is his passion.

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Husband: He thinks details are important, and has the 'privilege' of curating the look for everyone who comes into the house. They designed their own kitchen and included an eye-level towel rack.

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Wife: Husband wants the tea-towels ironed, but she sees no point. They don't iron bedding or anything else. It's only become an issue since they bought their own house. They've been together six years.

That's a super-condensed version, but that's all we really need.

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THIS is what we signed up for. The couple are about to come on stage.

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Lawton's favourite Dump Him story is the classic toothbrush-sharing one. Fun fact: she knows the persons involved.

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We're moving to the 'next phase of the evening'.

Georgina Lawton is among us! Fire the trumpets!

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To the tune of Party Up (Up in Here) by DMX:

🎶 Y'all gon' make me lose my mind.
🎶 Dump him, girl. Dump him, girl.
🎶 Y'all gon' make me go all out.
🎶 Dump him, girl. Dump him, girl.

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To the tune of Girls on Film:

🎶 Dump him, girl.
🎶 (Two minutes later.)
🎶 Dump him, girl.

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I tell you what, though. Kumar made a quip at the start how he thought he was booked because he looks like The Guardian personified. The more I watch, the more I have to agree.

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Does anyone have any news while we wait for the meat of the event? Did you do well from the Budget? Are you up to anything nice at the weekend? What's your favourite temperature between 0 and 500 Kelvin? Do you think our universe is encased inside an outer universe?

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I should have held a watch party. I suppose that's why commentators go around in pairs: one picks up the thread when the other loses it.

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Stuart Heritage now, responding to a question about so-called Bad TV.

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Does anyone remember the age before digital cameras when people would actually go round each other's houses and show their holiday photos once they'd been developed?

The conversation with Tim Dowling is at that level of tedium. Lawton: we need you.

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