How about the beck dell test and it's beck trying to learn how to use a pc
Writing word docs, using Excel, organizing files
He's proving he knows how to do all of that

Lincoln baby I miss you

Minnesota by the dandy warhols iso whack like what's the point? The novelty of living in the Midwest? GG I fuck urself

Lincoln NE taska Sunday oh wait I messed up but I bet y'all can still guess what that was supposed to be right?

I was on the South Dakota morning news.

Wichita? This ita!

All other comics selfishly go where the crowds are I however selflessly go to where the comedy isn't!

I dated a lady in Oklahoma and i'd imagine a world where I would carpetbag my way out to the plains and become the new great american buffalo icon, roaming the prairies, letting folks feast on me while I lived a simple life eating stuff off the ground and arguing with people about Leon Russel. Sundy

Little Rock! I'm bringing you joy and fun. Come make this show even more successful than the Evanescence show in 1999 where they debuted Bring Me To Life.

Louisville! Tonight!

If i wasted time making it you can waste time watching it!

I forgot this app existed..hope y'all like chest hair

Jack of all trades and also an ass of all trades :)

Cincinnati this Friday

You're being unreasonable

Cincinnati this Friday

I have my publicist prep my elderly grandma for my visit so she knows who I am.

A tour date poster with Birmingham, AL 9/24 Trim Tab Opelika, AL 9/25 Irish Bred Mobile, AL 9/26 Crescent Theater Hattiesburg, MS 9/27 Fat Cat Mobile, AL 9/28 Slurp Society Lake Charles, LA 9/29 OB’s New Orleans, LA 9/30 Howlin’ Wolf Destin, FL 10/1 Hotel Effie New Orleans, LA 10/2 *Sports Drink Tallahassee, FL 10/3 Don’t Tell Comedy Prairieville, LA 10/4 Nooley’s Pensacola, FL 10/5 Club 27 Auburn, AL 10/6 Rock n Roll Pinball Huntsville, AL 10/7 Moody’s Chattanooga, TN 10/8 JJ’s Bohemia Memphis, TN 10/9 Lamplighter *drinking game show All others is me headlining

Birmingham, Opelika, Mobile, Hattiesburg, Lake Charles, New Orleans, Destin, Tallahassee, Prairieville, Pensacola, Auburn, Huntsville, Chattanooga, Memphis.

Oh shit I'm misheard a guy at a bar, sorry

DYK the drummer from KISS was named Peter Kiss?

Columbus Ohio this Friday. If you snag tickets today online you can get half a Hamilton off with promo code DANFRIENDS. And if you get tickets tomorrow it's full price. And if you get tickets Saturday you're either a weirdo or you're getting scammed. I hope to see you soon.

Idk what that means but I hope it's good!

Do you use your phone in the bathroom?

Capitalism sucks, right everybody?
Here is a bit I don't do anymore that is appropriate for the day. And I hope you enjoy it.

I would never joke about tapping

I bet playing DragonForce on Guitar Hero could get you more sex than playing it on real instruments

Capitalism sucks, right everybody?
Here is a bit I don't do anymore that is appropriate for the day. And I hope you enjoy it.

A fun joke you can use to roast a witch

Ya blew it!

Headlining Chipped Ham Comedy in Pittsburgh this Friday night at Helltown Taproom in the Strip District. Come see just how much will this HGH has paid off! Doors at 7:30.