Just got called out by a mate for scoffing at a new release for sounding ten years out of date, five minutes after I told him I'm reading Tristram Shandy

*admiring a friend's crochet blanket*: ooh who's this from?
friend: mum's best friend, she's always knitting
me: ah, it's lovely. it's crochet
friend: yeah she loves knitting you'd really like her

Sometimes you just need to cane a fudge brownie Frijj in two minutes flat

I'm on prescription azelaic acid at the moment, so every single day of my life this song is in my head and I need to do something about it

Listen, I get it, it's 2026, she's long since been cancelled, this is not a relevant thing to think or post, and yet-

I am extremely tempted to knit Azealia Banks's jumper from the 212 video

This sentence raises big questions about words I'd previously taken for granted

It's not all just quietly crocheting, baking, and reading in my flat. Sometimes I do my dinner sudoku while the oven is still preheating.

Because I could not die for the Strawberry — It kindly died for me

I paid over the odds for an out of season punnet of strawberries because this one was singing choral ecstasies to me through the cellophane

THE GREAT BRITISH SEWING BEE: oh my this is fun, oh what larks

THE GREAT BRITISH REAPING BEE: well this is a spot of bother and make no mistake, what on earth

The ~550 year old Allerton Oak.

Grandmother to grandson as I passed: 'No, you can't have a snack on the Allerton Oak. It needs protecting. It doesn't need your biscuits and Pom-Bears all over it.'

Lost in Time shawl, replete with some of the wackiest and regrettable colour choices I've ever made: complete

Went to Tesco drunk after a wedding before coming home. Took my shoes off, sat down for five minutes. Anything could be in this bag for life. I feel like I'm on Ready Steady Cook.

a memorable teams interaction in honour of my last week in this job

I'm genuinely so pleased my tart induced visual ambiguity.

Before I looked at the tart photo properly, and before I read the text at all, I had an exquisite moment of scalar uncertainty when I wondered if it was a macro shot of a flower head or a micro shot of blood platelets

Not sure if we're still doing cottagecore but I just finished baking a tart and I'm about to get back to my crochet

Supplies for the Lost in Time shawl just arrived 💚💜

Yarnsmiths Freespirit Aran - All Colours

Thank you! It's Yarnsmiths Freespirit Aran in Malachite and Adonis - currently on offer as it happens 😊
www.woolwarehouse.co.uk/yarn/yarnsmi...

First knitted jumper 🧶

Once every few years, I make questionable yarn choices and start a stranded colourwork cushion cover, knit flat, with imperfect tension, which becomes a prolonged psychological war of attrition. Here is the latest. Happy Pancake Day.

I feed on messages like this. My greatest incentive is spite. Yes, I absolutely will have the time.

post a banger not in English 🇧🇷

youtu.be/E1tOV7y94DY?...

'If an American could speak train, we could not understand them' - Wittgenstein

Test wear ✌️

The /r/crochet mods have signed off for a week because they didn't like being held accountable for political fence-sitting. Now they're getting mocked with Karl Popper memes. I love this hobby.

Thank you! It has a dazzle ship quality to it I think 😅

Exceptional taste 🙏