Halloween Horror Nights R.I.P. with Jude, my mom, and Ryan. It was Jude’s first time and we all had a blast watching him experience it!! ❤️❤️❤️

Found an amazing psych and therapist today. Specializes in quite literally the things I need to navigate. I feel like I can breathe again and I’m so excited for this part of my journey. Mental health is important, yall.

No but I’m very attached. So since you asked me this you can name one of them.

Just noticed y’all got a free foot pic. If you sell it, pay me.

Why yes I am absolutely grief buying a thousand houseplants and turning into a crazy plant lady thank you. 😂😅at least I’m coping in healthy ways compared to the past. Is this a sign of….growth? BADUM CHHHHHHH 🌿🌱🪴

Renee Bach is such a narcissistic sociopath. I mean, I get what created the monster. I was raised very much in the same world as her. Wow though, what a fucking atrocious human. Her mom is just as bad. 😬😬😅

A typical conversation between myself and Ryan on Tuesdays at 11am.

I’m breathing, I’m standing, and I have no idea how, but I’m grateful. One foot in front of the other every day right now, and that kind of feels okay. Might be stronger than I thought.

Honestly, I thought that was the hardest week of my life to date (at that time it was) and couldn’t imagine how it could get worse. A week ago today/2wks later it did. I will definitely be okay, but it’s certainly going to take time. Kind words mean everything right now. ♥️

Burying myself in new plants. it’s helping the mental health aspect of life rn a lot but I’m becoming a crazy plant lady. I rescued a 3.5 foot mature Monstera from a place, that I’m going to repot once it has gotten a little love, Sun, fertilizer and adjusted to our space. It’s already perking.😅

Honestly looks like my wash and fold piles right now. (Each one. 😬😬😬😬) halp

I’m feeling so much better but also everything feels complicated and weird. A little physical pain still. Mentally all over the place. Grateful for my friends and my guy. These last two months were hell but I think we are on the upswing. Finally. Can I get some 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽.

Today was shitty and I survived. Go me. Did the hardest day of my life. Cried a lot, told LOTS of dark jokes, laughed a lil, felt very loved by people in my life. Ate an entire bowl of soup—the most square full meal I’ve been able to eat in 4 weeks, and it was made with love. Survived.

Thank you. I just might.

Yeeeeahhhh been a fucking wild 4 months. I’m shocked I haven’t had a nervous breakdown yet. Maybe I have and I don’t know what they look like. I’m still standing but yes I need a break and I’m taking one starting tomorrow.

What has been the hardest month of my life, is definitely ending with me going through the most difficult medical emergency of my life. Sometimes life is bullshit, but you can still make it. ♥️ I’m still standing even though I’m exhausted beyond comprehension.

Trust me you have no idea. This girl has had such a scary and hard life. She deserves so much more and we are going to show her how to get there.

Thank you, we have a very long road ahead but it’s a lot less dark now.

We did it. The hardest thing is done. It’s been hell but she’s here safe with me. God this has sucked so fucking much. I love my sister more than anything. Today, she starts a new life. I can breathe again. Ryan says I’m a creep for checking on her so much—a week ago I wasn’t sure I’d get to again.

That is so very kind. Thank you so much.

The hardest part, is that this most of that was caused by generational addiction and MH issues. People not having mental health support they need and not having people to keep them safe. I find myself angry a lot. I left Oklahoma to get away from it. I just want the cycle to end.

Baby me at the 2008 MTV VMAs afterparty with my friend Jackie (you might recognize her from several years after this when she went on The Bachelor 😅) after working on the show. Feels like a different life. Things were simpler. I’m glad I got to live that. (I’ll never have fringe again 😬.)

Thank you—they are truly needed. I know I’ve had some difficult life thing to navigate that are crazy, and somehow it can still get worse/scarier/bigger. I’ll make it but this is pure hell.

Thank you. It’s big and bad unfortunately. Dark and scary, thin hope. No hyperbole. I’ll be okay because I’m strong, but we contain multitudes and so I’m also a complete mess right now.

This has been the hardest week of my life. No question. I’ve barely eaten, barely slept, I’m emotionally depleted, stressed, and yet I’m simultaneously okay—maybe because I have to be. My nephew is the strongest, most incredible small human I’ve ever known. He deserves amazing things. The very best.

Matthew Lillard being in FNAF has me so hyped about the movie oh my god I don’t even care if it sucks. 😂😂

I haven’t even completed that many side ones. 😂😂😂 I’m only level 12.

I shit you not, thanks to the long weekend, I have 40 hours in Starfield and of the main quests…I’ve finished one. TF is wrong with me?? Lol

Thanks! I think being armed with information is helpful. In reality it changes nothing because it’s not something to be cured, but it’s definitely giving me a new perspective on everything I’ve ever done and blowing my mind. Hahaha I don’t hate it, it’s mostly just weird. Very weird. Surreal.

Today was an absolute shit day until about 4 minutes ago when I got this text after Ryan ran to our fave taco truck to snag comfort tacos. I could not ask for more. (The Birria often sells out and it’s a BUMMER, but good for their business so yay.) Never felt more validated in my stream theme song.