I've been at it for six months too, got my BA and ten years of design experience... None of that seems to matter

Four interviews (got none of them) and nearly all for positions that are severely underpaying for the ludicrous amount of work they expect

I really don't know what to do

None of that is an issue, but this being that I am is perhaps never going to be appealing enough for anyone, never enough, never attractive

I'm at peace with being enough for myself because I'm comfortable with the person I am, I enjoy being me and have no guilt about the feelings I feel and the things that I know and all that I enjoy and dislike

in life I tried being everything I'm not, I tried only being myself, I tried being more than what I am and time and time again it wasn't enough to hold anyone's attention

Despite all the advice one always hears and reads, perhaps I'll simply never be enough for anyone

Maybe I should be content enough with being remembered, even if barely, but I think I have the right to desire something more than to simply hold memory in someone

I want to matter to someone

I always know it's just a matter of time before people forget about me and perhaps from time to time they'll remember something about me and perhaps they'll feel good enough to send a message but the discomfort of being far will never be enough for them to reconnect

I'm, at best, a memory

There are so many people I know who I would love to spend hours with but the moment we're no longer physically in the same area it's as if I stopped existing for them and I'll always hold a place for them in my heart but it just doesn't seem reciprocated

I guess this is how dreams die, huh? With a whimper

Even if I couldn't have a relationship with someone, I'd be happy enough if I had a close support group, but I don't, I'm the most isolated I've ever been

Friendship by itself is so complicated, always feeling like I'm close to having a real deal friend and never feeling like it'll last

I've tried very hard not to take it personally because realistically it probably has nothing to do with me but I'll always feel like perhaps I'm just not good enough for others and may never be

One of the things I found hardest to accept over the years was that despite my best efforts, I never found any friends who ever wanted to stick around and build something together yet many found people they stuck to and created projects, businesses, etc

For what it's worth, I appreciate your thought. There's a lot there that I resonate with and I'd often thought I was the only one feeling it. Thank you for saying something.

chiptune resurgence is a recession indicator

random weekend sale. idk. 10S FOREVER itch version is $4.20 do something about it

itch.io/s/149718/ran...

if i have time I'm gonna make a song sampling this tonight, just incredible stuff

A painting of an ivy-covered building on deckled edge paper.

An ivy-covered building in Meguro, Tokyo. Painted this day last year. Pen and watercolour.

All of this is enough to think that there's more than a few folks out there that need a well deserved fist to the face until their noggin clicks back into working order

Also insane to think that living in a country is enough reason to not have criticism of it and yet more insane when people tell others to "leave if you don't like it" as if somehow that's sane to suggest

It's crazy to inflict this level of cynicism, indifference, and hostility toward your fellow man in a situation where realistically you're no better off than anyone else (unless if you're so wealthy that finances are no longer measured in dollars but in assets)

If an 80 year old woman is working doordash to make ends meet, it must be because she's made bad financial decisions, she's a drug abuser, etc and never because the system has failed even our most elderly

Somehow there are those who think said woman deserves this because this is what she "chose"

One of the most awful things that I see so often is this notion that people who have landed in an awful position in life are solely, exclusively responsible for the end result, essentially ignoring how life has become contingent on outside factors and conditions (i.e. the economy, society, etc)

a woman in pink and a man in blue lay in the snow

bushido blade / psx
lightweight, 1997

KEEP CALLING. PEEL OFF ALL DEM SENATORS YOU CAN.

☎️: (202) 224-3121

Tell them to vote NO on Cloture and NO on CR. Vote is pushed to after 1:15ish for now. Situation is fluid.

The only public YES votes are Schumer and Fetterman. They need 7-8 total. KEEP CALLING.

Call retiring Senators too!

I am simply a tender person who would like to be doted on, I don't ask for much, maybe a cup of water

Or if you want someone who gets emotional at sunsets and clouds, I am also your boy

If anyone is looking for a boy who wants to simultaneously talk about the political parallelisms and the literary artistry of One Piece, I am your boy

Finding a partner at 30 is so fkn hard lmfao

Is this thinking into it too much? Yeah, likely, but if it gives me a moment of pause as I'm walking down a street and it has me in awe, maybe that's all that matters. At least I know I'm fully invested in the experience of being alive. So much in our life has a price but this doesn't.

And they manage to make us feel so small under the right circumstances, they humble us if we allow them to. To spectate the immense and immaculate and remember how inconsequential we are.