VIOLENCE is never the answer, my granddad used to say. As such, when I appeared on The Weakest Link a few years back, and Anne Robinson asked "What "V' is a noun meaning 'physical force intend. ed to hurt, damage or kill?'," I said I didn't know, and subsequently got voted off without winning a penny. Thanks a fucking bunch, granddad. T Ellen, London
we all know I have no life, so:
‘Nothing Compares 2 Soups’
Dylan Moran aka Bernard Black
It’s Monday tomorrow morning. Night night.
Boris Johnson didn't pass vetting when Theresa May appointed him Foreign Secretary.
The media must have missed that one.
The Mandelson saga demonstrates, yet again, that 'Yes Minister' was more documentary than comedy:-
ukcivilservant.substack.com/p/yes-minister
Nukes at Ten - they should’ve delayed the test.
Missed opportunity for them to play “You’re History” whenever Marcella got eliminated.
And that person is...
Dog Who Looks Like Jeff Lynne
Old lady saying “shit hole”. Pete Waterman is incandescent with mirth.
Who-de-who!
youtu.be/HcNb3sAuMzk?...
Here’s a 3-2-1 episode which stuck in my head as a kid because of the opening round. The questions for couple 1 were the initials of ITV companies. They gave the first one away for free - ATV - which no one would know anyway. Even a TV nerd like me would never class that as general knowledge.
This is deep
A reminder that we did this.
(And had to pay Mirror Group Newspapers for the copyright of the text, one of the finest rights payments I’ve ever approved.)
They were just ursine about, M’lud.
PETERBOROUGH STANDARD - Friday, April 18th, 1980 The memories live on CROWLAND'S Silver Jubilee committee was finally wound up on Thursday evening with a presentation ceremony at the library.. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire', fremony at the library. The Jubilee fund,. described by chairman Frank Parnet s 'one remony atremony are sony at the library. The jubremony at the library. Tremony at remony at the library. Thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library. Theremony at the library. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman, Frank Premony rremony at the remony aremony at the libremony atremony at tremony at the library. Tremorremony at the library.remony at the library. The Jubilee fund, described by chairman Frank Parnell as 'one of the finest efforts in Lincolnshire', fn he latched onto a through ball. Although be was hauled down by the keeper he still managed to stroke the ball home. But for the second week running Durant had to leave the field injured, this time suffering eye trouble. The winning goal was another 25-yard shot - again from Blackstones' central defender - coming from their second chance of the game. Gary Cooper, recently signed from Old Boys, had a good debut.
Well, happy thrremony at tremony at the liremony at the libraremony at the library day to all who celebrate
IT is really important because without it Isaac Newton would just have discovered gravy.
Timely (it’s showing right now!)
We all have days like this
The story they had to splash all over the front page.
45 years?
They really gotta speed it up.
read our new opinion piece "How to improve cardiovascular surgery" by someone who has never trained in medicine, knows nothing about medicine, and has no experience in medicine
Hedgehog emojis to calm Dawny B. At optimum hedgehog, the Reply box asks, "Are you writing in Korean?"
Been a few minutes now and I'm still in pieces laughing.
If you put enough hedgehog emojis into a Bluesky reply, check out what the auto-assist asks you at the bottom.
A Cat With a Wooden Leg Pat McGrath possesses a very remarkable feline. His cat was born with only three legs, and as soon as the kitten became large enough to leave its mother, Pat constructed a wooden leg and successfully adjusted it to the little stump that grew out where poor pussy’s fourth leg ought to have been. Pussy now trots along on four legs with as much ease and comfort, apparently, as though the wooden limb had been placed there by Nature. But here is the really wonderful part of the story: Instead of killing rats and mice with her claws, as cats usually do, pussy has learned to use her club leg for this purpose, and it is said to be a very amusing sight to see her run up to a rat and knock him into insensibility with her wooden leg.
It is, allegedly, the 136th anniversary of a news story whose last line I don’t think you’ll be able to predict appearing in the Woodford (Kentucky) Sun
Forbidden X
fruit
A cafe with the name ‘Sizewell Tea’.
Well played, namer of this East Sussex café near a nuclear power station.
Autoglass repair Autoglass replace.
(Do I win £5?)
Cheeses whipped.
And made into a delicious souffle.
