I'm at the age where I'm young to the older people and I'm old to the younger people.....

Confucius says Never disturb a man eating ice cream

A man who doesn't realise there's a limbo contest going on walks into a bar.

Grab your Starter jacket we going to Sizzler

You will never forget anything about him. Even in 20 years from now, you will remember everything, like you saw him just a few days ago. His voice, his laughter, his hands.

Diamonds were a girls best friend but then I found coffee and amazon.

I don’t think this box of kleenex really wants to comfort me.

How can the same Thanksgiving break be the best and worst ever at the same time? I can't even.

My ability to forget things is quite unforgettable.

The Platypus is nature’s version of “fuck it. Send”

The moon is my solace.

I’m just gonna let this shit storm whisk me away.

І want to be struck by lightning so bad І feel like it would solve a lot of problems

Always be willing to die on your sword or whatever it takes to land the joke

Butt selfies are a young man’s game

In my day we didn’t need fancy electronics. We had stickers with buttons, switches and knobs and an imagination.

If I meowed at you would you even meow back?

Getting posthumously cancelled for not tagging my suicide note with a trigger warning for suicide.

Be the locus of my dreams.

Maybe in my next life I’ll get to be a cactus or something.

A lone vehicle on a road near a tornado.

Last one, I swear. Just let me upload them to Instagram, and we can go.

Just because you haven't found the right person yet, doesn't mean you will!

Good morning 💜💙

More compassion
More tolerance
More peace
More love
🖤

your eyes on me, is what I want to see

thoughts of you always
make the ocean of intense love
splash in my heart

#whistpr

keeping a conversation interesting and going is a lost art - especially on dates