Beginning of s2 I got a friend to speedrun s1 and start on s2 so we could both be watching it and today he was like, "What are we gonna do on Thursdays now?"

chrisxvargas ® 5h 24 years old. Fully paid off Costco hotdog. It's not "parents money". It's not luck. It's consistency. It's discipline. I grind EVERYDAY to live this lifestyle. COSTCO Costco $1.50 Paid $1.50 Remaining $0.00 Payment schedule Pay in 4 Fri, Jan 05 1 of 4 • Paid $0.375 Fri, Jan 19 2 of 4 • Paid $0.375 Fri, Feb 02 3 of 4 • Paid $0.375 Fri, Feb 16 Final payment • Paid $0.375

"In what metric?"
"Any"
🔥💥💥🔥💥💥🔥💥💥🔥

I could hear the explosions 🤣

I laughed so fucking hard when a presentation thingy was like "these are all these sustainability things we are doing" when five seconds earlier they were talking about their working with AI

Amazing, flawless, no notes; I needed a rage laugh

Nope, but not surprised 🤣🤣

bugs bunny would wipe the floor with Q from star trek

They were texts about how I speed removed the stuff in my closet in case they needed the electrical panel and that the electrician was chill and very nice about my messy moving mode apartment 🤣🤣

But when I tell you I gave myself a heart attack 💔💔

Y'all not me accidentally texting the group chat with my landlord and her daughters and the electrician rather than my friend's group chat ☠️☠️☠️

Luckily it was just silly and nothing bad but lmaoooo

Bugs bunny in a suit meme saying "I wish all aces a very pleasant international asexuality day"

Happy international asexuality day!!! 🖤💜🤍

I always knew people weren't reading emails because they don't respond to the shit I said, and now I know there are people even more purposely not reading my actual email and making assumptions 🫩

What the fuck do you mean you wanna ask AI to help with the "tone" of your email to make it be more "team oriented"

Babe, you are speaking gibberish, I will kill you

Star Trek First Contact scene, and if you haven't watched this one you should cancel all plans and view immejietly. (Also has a Mark S from Severance cameo) Ok, it's nighttime and we're close in on 2 dudes, closest is Zefram Cochrane, and just behind him is William T. Riker, famous tromboner. Both are in civilian clothes, Riker a leather jacket, and Zefram in a bomber type coat with the white fluffy wooly stuffing around the collar. Zefram is also wearing a weird black hat that is sort of like a bandana in form and function, but instead of fabric it's bedazzled leather. He's speaking, and looks kind of dumbfounded or stumped. Closed caption reads, "You're all....astronauts .. on some kind of Star Trek" Happy First Contact Day 🖖🏼

Alt in pic 1

Happy First Contact Day 🖖🏽

It doesn't have to be much if you are able to swing it.
Kids are already beholden to the whims of adults, but the idea of them getting the means to be able to maybe do some little things for themselves when they're already dealing with the pressure of school etc. is too much?

I think people can be a little weird when they say the idea of an allowance for kids is wild and outlandish

It's literally just giving your kid a sense of independence and letting them practice with money

It's that time of the year again, folks lolll 🥰🥰🥰

Me, nodding along, "Yeah, she's also a lady who ended up helping me save money on my medical bill"

I remember when I first heard of meowing as a stim or whatever and I was like, "seems a little weird" and then immediately stopped and said, "You're talking a lot of shit for someone who naturally does trilling purrs"

Okay so why was I the only one in the theater tonight who gasped when Ryan Gosling ran a centrifuge with two tubes in the whole thing, sitting right next to each other? Sorry was I the only scientist in the film society theater tonight??

I love being around people who are drinking but also I'm a terrible person to have around because I am a natural hype man 😂😂

Sure, maybe some of your ideas I'll veto, but you're gonna wake up the next morning with like a piercing and a nutribullet

Yaaasss, Kim is a real nurse too loll, and I at least one other or so of the nurses

Lmao he was like "I accidentally left it in there and scared myself, so I decided to do the same to you. I've been waiting all week for you to use the car"

There is some satisfaction in knowing he scared Himself first 🤣🤣

Apparently it has a fake rattle that luckily I did not find out about 😭😭😭

A FAKE (thank fuck) snake in the bottom of the passenger side of my car

My brother got it from work and had been planning this surprise all week apparently 🫩

this made me cackle all the way through

Ooh yeah the corn-flavored milk always fucking rocks lolll

Gonna tell childhood me that she was right and that we're gonna get more of it in the future even when it's not on sale because fuck it, Sadie said life is a special occasion or whatever

Honestly? Eating one of the more expensive fun cereals I got on sale and remembering that childhood me was right to see them as a fancy treat I could rarely get, because truly? It slaps

Much like ships on Star Trek, it seems lawyers on The Pitt move at the speed of plot

Like damn, he got that shit for FREE. If I were Keanu Reeves I would have drank it and made them put that moment in the movie