Just realised they’re called canberries cause you *can* eat em

Just realised they’re called canberries cause they come in a can

Just realised they’re called cramberries cause you cram em in your mouth

HBO !? I thought “the Pit” would have been on Apple Tv. This is like when “The Core (2003)” was released in cinemas and not Apple TV

My posts on here have honestly been getting pretty good. If you have wrote me off as “unfunny” or “bald” please give my posts another chance

Who’s joining me in suing Hollywood?They marketed this movie with
“Lee Cronin’s The Mummy”.
But he’s clearly not the Mummy, some little girl’s the mummy

My experience watching Hamnet was rather unique and very emotional. It was my first time at the cinema and I was still grieving my and Chloe Zhao's dead son Winniam Shakespeare

O my god. The team fortress two folks are trying to sell us “in game” hats. You should be able to make your wee computer guys eat them too cause that’s what i’ll do if anyone ever buys one!

I don’t know if they’ve ever done it or not but there should be a Simpsons episode where Homer becomes Mr Plow

hey Lorne can i use your printer to print out this picture of the pope. no it’s not related to my performance tonight

Due to the incredible power of combinatorics it is statistically impossible for any two people on earth to have the same rankings of the star wars movies

Feature length !? Sounds like me describing my features

If someone’s face isn’t listening, I simply address their hand

Oh god. I was such a fool yesterday. Shit

I’m not normally into hornyness but this was interesting. Thank you all for unleashing this sexy little list.

Wearing a toupee is really not that weird and should be looked at no differently than wearing a merkin or those special socks that give you hobbit feet

(Dril after seeing Nick, Joe and Kevin in any context whatsoever) Well well well if it isn’t the Jonas Brothers

When Dave Mathews wrote Crash into me, the opening line “You’ve got you ball, you’ve got your chin” was intended to be a reference to one of the Ballchinians from Men in Black 2

Tim Chalamet hates ballet so much that instead of watching Swan Lake he’d rather swim in a lake.

Oh hell yeah

Miss Honey used to just be a Matilda character. Now it’s how I feel about honey (haven’t had it in a while)

We used to have Chuck Norris, Brisket O Donnell and Ribs Crumpins. Please god don’t let anything happen to Sirloin Vanderhopf

Just realised they named him Chuckle Norris after all the funny jokes about him

The one funny thing I’ve ever come up with was in the chat of a @gullyworks.bsky.social stream when I said We actually know more about the deepest reaches of space than we do about even a single drop of the ocean

Hey @denisvilleneuveofficial was it your dumb idea to call it June 3 and not August ?

It sucks so fucking much that i only ever get to trick or treat at Halloween and that’s it

Imagine if instead of Fry his name was Apple and the show was called fruiturama

No I don’t regret calling my daughter Khaleesi, I named her after the leader of an entirely different khalasar

People from all the other cinemas were coming in to complain about the sound levels of our Testament of Ann Lee sing-along but they saw how happy we were and let us turn the movie up and even joined us for a dance

Is Mercury in retrograde .com Website says yes

Well that explains all the crazy stuff going on these days (6 7, politics, etc)