🥹🥹❤️❤️

we do very, very important work at vulture

www.instagram.com/reel/DV7iPpp...

Now presenting: The Oscars, the Matt Berry cut 🎬

I think if I were to ever launch a massive nefarious smear campaign against someone I would simply not have a kick off call about it that I record for a person who can't be there. We can reschedule the massive nefarious smear campaign kick off call for when everyone can make it.

this is just a list of things @annevclark.bsky.social and I think would be fun to hear Matt Berry say and yes I do consider this service journalism

writing a horror novel with one hand. using the other to make the spiraling “cuckoo” sign so everyone knows I don’t condone

Kid Rock actually did the same thing Bad Bunny did where he named all the different places that make up America but he only listed Texas, the part of Detroit where white people live, Funspot in New Hampshire and the defunct Times Square Señor Frog’s.

Do you think that Bad Bunny said all the countries of the Americas in geographic order south to north as an artistic statement or is that just how they're sorted in his mind palace? I'm thinking mind palace bc that's also how mine is

Women with hips are always gonna upset dudes who prefer, like, kids.

What's really funny is that pretty much everyone on the porch of the bad bunny house that they quickly panned over is more famous than kid rock

I am begging the producers of live television events to please check your venues for lady gaga before you start, many live events end up featuring lady gaga without warning because so few people think to do this

They just played a Coke ad at the end and it made me realize we can do anything we want. ANYTHING.

I finished my very first watch of Mad Men and I am mean now. Just full of sass. I've got an ATTITUDE PROBLEM. It has put such a rage in me.

Of all the strange things to happen in stranger things a candy striper knowing this much medicine is the most strange thing, perhaps of all.

If I am experiencing travel delays it is the end of the world, if people on the news are experiencing travel delays it's pure entertainment thank you yes more please

You know that scene where Taylor Swift listens to the audiobook to calm her nervous system down, that's how I am with episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm

Every Christmas we joke about three ghosts visiting the president and every Christmas they fail us. It's time to accept that we need more ghosts. And BIGGER ghosts.

This week's South Park made me actually weep.

Jesse Plemons aka the millennial Tommy Lee Jones

Every time I see them I am forced to Google which Jonas hurt my dear sweet close personal friend Sophie Turner and it's so annoying. Can we just make him wear a little tag?

We are witnessing one of the most diabolical Substack subscriber ploys/longest bamboo metaphors in history right now. What a time to be alive.

She’s going to be in Oh Mary I called this like a year ago

In other news, they're literally moving Tehran because it's out of water. NBD. It's fine. This is fine. It's allllll going fine.

Who HASN'T confused a pussy palace for a dojo

Love to listen to my favorite pop star Lily Allen sing lines like "I didn't know it was your pussy palace, I always thought it was a dojo" that simply anyone can relate to

Do you think they talked about the tribulations of having Aloof Wives

Time to play my favorite game: Which Mormon Wife Am I Looking At? I AM ACTUALLY VERY BAD AT IT

I know I'm a flop hag. I've come to terms with it. I've moved on.

On behalf of his Millennial constituents, I sincerely hope that on day one of the Mamdani Administration Zohran looks out the window of his office at City Hall and calls out to his staff "Somebody get me the Ghostbusters!"
This is a huge responsibility.