Maybe today

THAT'S SO COOL!!!!

My 15 minutes of fame was being recognized in Chicago for my bartending in Austin

What's yours?

COINSSSDDSSSSSSDD

If you are an Animal Crossing player...please read this book. I loved it and I was an ACNH convert, so the context of all that came before it was super interesting and well written by the highly entertaining and also generally excellent @kelslewin.bsky.social

You don't want to know what the candies are made out of

O noes!! Controversial but... imma text you

In today's 1:1 as my [redacted] was commenting on my [redacted], they mentioned they "need more information."

Oh.

Ohhohoho.

Next week's report is going to be a Salton Sea's worth of "be careful what you fish for"

The plural of turkey is turkeychain.

As one of my friends says, "penises are like basketball players! they dribble before they shoot!"

IM HERE IM HERE WHAT CAN I DO

"pre-seed"

"ma'am are you referring to foreplay?"

I spent a very long time today carving a very complicated lino block

It had many fine details and curves

I was so proud of it

And then I realized I didn't flip the image.

fuck me

eat Arby's

cuz u brain man

I do not desire to work, to move the hamster wheel of capitalism one notch further into the utter collapse of the natural world as we know it and take it for granted; I desire the drum, all day banging on its taut, supple skin the horrors of a self-aware existence. ⚙️🥁

The heart is in the butthole

I should specify that when I say, "space is cool," I mean, "space, untouched by the grubby hands of mammals, slaps"

INFECTIOUS!!!

Thank you!! 🤩

Enjoy this new gif I made lolz

drooool

If Jesus had focused more on kitchen table issues and less on unpopular outcasts like lepers and prostitutes, he might have won more support from white working-class Judeans.

You know who else rose from the dead?

JON SNOW, King in the North.

#GOT

ANTI-BEDTIME LEFTIST WEBSITE

Hi, sorry for the late message. I'm calling out of work due to the impending doom, available by phone in case of emergencies. Thank you!

This is the first I heard online!!!! You are Allenfeld bebe news central!!! I will now come to you for all things Allenfeld bebe related.

had a dream about attending an orgy with all the members of Dropout and by golly I feel like this might be one I can actually achieve.

EVIDENCE

More just upright walking. Apparently "crawler" is its breed lolol