Teach More! Test Less!

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

👇👇👇👇

Putin must be so proud of himself for the impact he has had on the U.S.

...maybe - just maybe - he's actually the worst president in history

He only cared about ONE thing...how it looked on TV. Enough has been said regarding the impossible healing job...not enough said about the depravity it takes to kill your followers to make good television.

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

They are physically grabbing citizens and illegally detaining them in those privately run “immigration prisons”

CITIZENS !!!!!

ICE has to be dismantled
And guilty ICE personnel should be prosecuted.

Hungary must arrest Netanyahu if he visits, Magyar says Israeli PM Netanyahu, wanted by the International Criminal Court, is due to visit Hungary later this year.

Looks like Bibi's travel plans are going to change www.politico.eu/article/pete...

Teachers learn more from the living, breathing kids they spend every day with, than any standardized test could ever tell them. @readdoctor.bsky.social

The United States is destroying itself | Rebecca Solnit The daily news can’t adequately convey the administration’s sabotaging of our government, economy, alliances and environment

It's happening. We're seeing it. It's why we are rising up to stop it.
www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

Palantir posted a manifesto that reads like the ramblings of a comic book villain Palantir shared 22 points excerpted from CEO Alex Karp and Nicholas W. Zamiska's 2025 book, The Technological Republic, and they're troubling.

Peter Thiel and his Palantir tech & surveillance company is one of the biggest contributors to Project 2025. He basically doesn't like humans.
www.engadget.com/big-tech/pal...

Effective 2025 federal tax rates paid by these corporations:

Alphabet: 8.01%
AT&T: 4.6%
Meta: 3.57%
General Motors: 3.09%
Amazon: 1.37%
Exxon Mobil: 1.31%
Disney: -1.57%
CVS Health: -3.88%

Income tax rate paid by the typical American: 14.5%

This is what a rigged system looks like.

The United States is destroying itself | Rebecca Solnit The daily news can’t adequately convey the administration’s sabotaging of our government, economy, alliances and environment

“The United States is being murdered, and it’s an inside job. Every department, every branch, every bureau and function of the federal government is being fatally corrupted or altogether dismantled or disabled.”

"Dear America" letters from people who work at the besieged US Department of Housing and Urban Development:

dearamericaletters.org

Hundreds of Fake Pro-Trump Avatars Emerge on Social Media

Important story from the Times on the rise of AI influencers for Trump www.nytimes.com/2026/04/17/b...

Wonder why Trump keeps sabotaging negotiations?
I bet Putin knows.

Stop the Data Mining!

Today is the 251st anniversary of Paul Revere's midnight ride to warn the Minutemen of approaching British troops.

I want to take a moment to share an excerpt from the Declaration of Independence's grievances against King George III.

Remind you of anyone?

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

No standardized test can attach a meaningful number to the quality of original thought.

It is a war on the poor. And who benefits? Not our nation because we need smart people.

What the actual fuck….

The worst possible tactic you can use when negotiating a deal with a regime like Iran is to dunk on them in public during negotiations. Any knowledgeable seasoned diplomat knows this. But we have Mr. Art of the Deal who needs to feed his cult and the markets a steady diet of BS.

More of this, less of bombing other countries

(From @acyn.bsky.social )

MAGA Is Increasingly Convinced the Trump Assassination Attempt Was Staged Conspiracy theories about the Butler, Pennsylvania, shooting have ramped up in recent weeks as once steadfast Trump supporters turn on the president.

@wired.com bringing the news again.

www.wired.com/story/maga-i...

I think most people would prefer this. #Science

A large crowd as always at the weekly march in Tbilisi. Georgians have been protesting in 8+ cities every day for the last 507 days.

This image is a political illustration from the German newspaper Die Zeit depicting a confrontation between a Pope and a US President.

The artwork is titled "Pope Leo XIV" and portrays a tension-filled scene between the two figures.