itching to draw again. i have an idea for a character but trying to draw her is not really resulting in anything good so far... i want to make more weird cute not-quite-human girls...

i cant stop playing umamusume its like a curse

(i already think the original is near perfect so i wasnt that big of a fan of the remake but i didnt loathe it either

least that piece of shit movie got me really thinking about the original game again. its one of those pieces of art that made me fall in love with the videogame medium in the first place. the story works best as a game. it doesnt really need to be anything else

didnt even make pyramid head hot. a genuine 0/10 nothing redeemable

make it a standalone movie or something instead of butchering source material with such a cult following. it just feels like mockery, especially with how heavy the narrative themes in the game are. end result is a complete misunderstanding and downright dismissal of the tone of the original story

its so disjointed from actual storyline of the game apart from names and locations. movie james is a completely different guy from game james. its genuinely laughable to try to sell it as a ""faithful adaptation"". what the fuck. dont piss me off

watched that new sh2 movie with bf it was suuuuuch utter dogshit. got me genuinely angry. it felt like a personal insult since i hold silent hill so near and dear to my heart. it felt like a horrible netflix adaptation of a horrible fan theory

havent taken my meds because i dont want the nausea on top of all this but being without is already making me feel worse. no way to win here. really sad about the mug and feel lonely. this just sucks. i want everyone in the world to die

managed to catch covid somehow and ive been stuck in bed for a few days. slept all day today cuz didnt have energy for anything else. everything hurts. miserable. really depressed. dropped one of my favourite mugs earlier and it shattered. cried really hard and then felt even more exhausted

i hope it would go away, eventually

today too i had a good day, got a lot of important stuff done. now im in bed and really want to slit my wrists for no discernable reason. why is it like this. i wonder if ill ever get rid of this habit fully or will it always be on the back of my mind

few past weeks i felt like such a normal happy person that i kinda already forgot how bad it can feel. like oh. yeah. im remarkably mentally ill. i wish those happy days would last forever

having to say goodbye to my bf on the airport is actually the worst feeling ive ever had to feel in my life . this love shit serious

a guy told us about manta rays, theyre like sea puppies

went to an aquarium , i love fish

somewhat, i feel like no pair of glasses really suits me. but i do need them so i got the ones i hated the least

ive been meaning to get new glasses for 6 whole years, finally got it done today😭

Excelerate

open.spotify.com/track/7kFZ2n...

Confined & Feathery

been listening to puzzle a lot
open.spotify.com/track/3nQHMb...

life update: ive gone to rehab exactly 1(one) time since this post

hrmm.... ive been mostly eating plain greek yogurt with toppings but i like strawberry and vanilla the most i think

thank you! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

oh and ive been spending way too much time on league.... im terribly ill.... and ive been playing pathologic! very cool (and terribly frustrating). installed ff12 but havent gotten around to playing it yet

i end up posting here very sporadically because nothing ever happens to me and i have nothing to say. been really into yogurt lately

i was gone for over a month from rehab, but ill try my hardest to go normally again from now on. new year new me and all that. really itching to draw something, wish i could scratch the inner walls of my skull

got a new diary today (yet to be decorated). i thought writing down about the days might be good for my memory, since things tend to blur together

Nettles

the "to love me is to suffer me" line has really stuck with me open.spotify.com/track/02kTd6...

Go Slowly

open.spotify.com/track/6yiSyu...

big into leg warmers lately. paired with my brown boots it makes me feel like i have deer hooves