FLAT KEL!!! surgery was nov 17th 😍

what makes it more annoying is that my right is my dominant side so ofc all the annoyances and pains and discomfort is focused on that side when I’m doing literally everything with that hand/arm 🙃

ik this isn’t the final results and I’m only 7.5 weeks post-op so there’s still so much healing to go but it is just kinda disappointing bc if i could mirror the results of my left side i would be more satisfied. idk. i probably sound ungrateful

like compared to the left side, the incision isn’t as clean/is slightly wobbly-looking, i have a bitbof puckering where the stitches were, the nipple is off center doesn’t look as well-trimmed, i have swelling/potential dogear on my right side, i had more pain from the drains on my right side, likee

like it lowkey looks like it was a “I’m going to do the left side while a student/intern watches and then i’ll let them do the right side while i supervise” and the right side is also where I’ve consistently had issues/concerns during various stages of the entire healing process :/

very happy with completing my top surgery but also kind of a little frustrated with the look of my incision scars/nipple grafts bc it lowkey looks like the the left vs right side were done by different people bc I’m like why does one side look so much better than the other in multiple ways :/

happy six weeks post-op 🩷🩷

alright the hard scar tissue developing under my scars is fuckin irritating how do i fast-forward to when scar massage has broken up the scar tissue, jesus christ

great news!! what i thought was a seroma below my underarm after top surgery is NOT and is just inflammation thank goodness!!

how have i passed an entire month just waking up, sitting around watching stuff, eating, and then going back to bed. time has ceased to be real

being in your 30s means playing the “is it eye strain or am i developing nearsighted-ness” game

and like ik i could technically uber but if i need to have a seroma aspirated i CANNOT go to that appointment alone lmfaoooo

in the meantime i have to figure out what I’m meant to do in regards to nipple graft care & if i still do compression & i also think I’ve developed a seroma that now has to go another week unaddressed & idfk what i should be doing for the next week or how to get to the appt!!!

this time it’s my one month post-op appt cancelled and they only have next monday at 9:30 with NO other day or time available for weeks so i have to fucking figure out how to even get to that appt bc my sibling is scheduled and is gonna try and switch their shift but also

why is this the second year IN A ROW where I’ve gotten a call specifically on the day of our holiday party that was cancelling a Very Important Medical Appointment the day before it’s scheduled and subsequently sending me thru the ringer to try and get a new appt scheduled 🙃🙃🙃

four weeks since top surgery 🩷

i ended up reordering the jacket in a slightly different colorway and was actually successful so it arrived today thank fucking god

i am 90% sure that i have a seroma beneath my underarm and i feel sick thinking about the possibility of needing to get it aspirated

my range of motion has improved enough to be able to bathe myself without any help even with reaching my back so i was able to do that completely independently today and it feels so fuckin good 😩

absolutely crazy that even tho i haven’t *fully* connected with my chest yet bc of the constant compression, i look at a photo of my nude torso pre-surgery and i can’t believe that’s what my chest used to look like like it just doesn’t compute

i have a specific scab on my incision that is just relentlessly pinching me and i am gonna lose it

when the little class action settlement you participated in finally pays out 👏🏻👏🏻

I’m pretty sure that my body has somehow coordinated starting to grow chest hair right as/after getting top surgery which is hilarious bc for these past few weeks i thought i hadn’t been cleaning my chest skin well enough but now I’m p sure it’s hair lmao

had a dream that i met apo-kinnporsche????

the experience of slowly regaining (semi-inconsistent) feeling in my chest but still having a lot of numbness is really strange

i ordered a winter jacket onlinea fee days ago from (department store) that was decently priced with great reviews and they just cancelled my order bc it’s actually out of stock and it was never marked as such 🙃

i have had TWO DREAMS now about coming across work regulars in public and excitedly getting to say hi and hug them and they ask where/how I’ve been and they react supportively to me getting top surgery and that being the reason I’ve been gone from work

my healing incisions are so fucking itchyyyyy

like my skin is ashy af but my shoulders where my tgel goes looks like a peeling sunburn uhhhh

how is all of my skin SO FUCKING DRY I’m not even in the dry outside winter air!!! i look like a lizard!! putting my tgel on my shoulders dries my skin out so much that it looks like an actual desert !!! wtf !!!