Which end was Michael Knowles at here?

There’s a correct way to shop at Michaels.

No, they sold it to the guy who bought Salon.

I just saw a Publix pharmacist bagging groceries so I guess that’s how things are going in Florida right now.

a cartoon of a woman standing in front of a drum set with the letter f on her shirt ALT: a cartoon of a woman standing in front of a drum set with the letter f on her shirt

Snopes: No, the Door Dash grandma was not part of a political stunt to support the Trump administration.

Trump: That political stunt was stupid as fuck, why did we even hire that bitch?

Snopes:

Yesterday marks 30 days of sobriety for me, even through this pretty epic 15 months I’ve been going through. Can you share the link below or help me out to celebrate surviving fire, & coming out the other side feeling more like myself again? I’d really appreciate it, thank you all, always!! ❤️🫶💫

You’re just gonna keep scrolling without saying hi to the rainbow sherbet monster created by my phone having shitty reception while scrolling past a candy scooping video?

I’m beginning to suspect that journalists posting these dumbass articles on BlueSky is a honeypot for their next story on how everyone being mean to them on here is why the site is failing.

Great to know that Gun Girl is committed to continuing shitting her pants at the party well into her thirties.

a man with a beard is standing in the dirt in a dark room . ALT: a man with a beard is standing in the dirt in a dark room .

My Facebook account when the next Democratic administration is inaugurated and telling boomers to fuck off and die becomes a retroactively bannable offense again.

Remember when government-run psyops used to be done by somewhat competent people?

Buddy, I’ve got some bad news for you.

Facebook is a well-oiled machine that turns “this has to be satire” into “oh good Lord it’s not”.

I am the Party Scum

Why is it that Masculine Jesus sounds like a lame ass bitch?

This is how I know that The Daily Beast is worried about getting continued coverage from the White House because why are you gonna call him “Pentagon Pete” when “Pete Kegsbreath” is right there?

Taz plotting how to get back to Arlington after dark so he can eat that dead soldier.

Reeducation is too good for these people, we’re going to need to invest in some slurry factories.

Also our football team stinks.

Donald Trump: *threatens thermonuclear war if his terroristic demands aren’t met*

The news feed on Twitter:

Passenger In Car Being Driven by Drunk Driver Calls Him ‘Sick’ But Won’t Explicitly Call For Them to Hand Over the Keys

The two airmen we saved are alive and well and we can’t reveal their identities because stuff and junk fuck you, you’re going to jail!

Is America ready for a female President who shoots puppies and a First Husband with big gazoongazugs?

Oh no, someone took a huge shit on my pile of vomit!

Logan Paul showing up under the auspices of trying to help his brother with the Druski skit but actually TKO told him to “take care of that bad publicity”.