u guys i still dont think i know how to use this app

me to my mother: how does it feel, knowing you raised me to be the only person who can beat you in an argument?

terrified to find out who else in the family has been watching canadian hockey yaoi this holiday season

i feel like a monty python holy grail villager rn

can i pitch for history books to call this era "the blue scare"

i luv u emric

i think the only way to heal is to witness the suffering of others

winston would have an adderall rx but never take it; schmidt would then ofc be taking winston's adderall for years

heres my pitch: gen z new girl. everythings the same except they're actually a polycule

at least one of the guys is trans. coach has a successful drag career. jess is probably nonbinary.

Friendly reminder that school administrators tend to take complaints from parents much more seriously than the same complaints from teachers. So if your kids’ school district is using PragerU stuff, please speak up.

everyones reaction to the epstein list cracks me up like it's schrodinger's list at this point, i don't care if they ever release it there are names we know for sure are there

The Invention of “Sesame Street” Renata Adler’s 1972 review of the program that revolutionized children’s television.

“Sesame Street” and its sequel, “The Electric Company,” were, “with lapses, the most intelligent and important programs in television,” Renata Adler wrote, in 1972.

omg @samreich.bsky.social ur in my crossword (source: willamette week)

lol elon said trump was in the epstein files and its failed to make headlines because half of us already knew and the other half never cared

dentist is removing my final baby tooth on monday so you're all running out of time to dare me to do it myself

okay new take - maybe the tooth is whats wrong with me. maybe it's a cursed tooth and pulling it will solve all my problems

also, if they take it out i want it back. ive grown attached over the years.

and i'm a little high so naturally now i'm like, fuck should i just pull it out? like, as a courtesy? there's no way this tooth could withstand a rigorous flossing—there have been some close calls. so odds are, tomorrow it's curtains. is it more polite to save my dentist the gruesome inevitable?

and it would fall out eventually and that i shouldn't pull it out, because then i might need a fake tooth and that's expensive. this was 8 years ago. the tooth remains. but here's the thing—barely. i've known i could pop that thing out as drunken party trick for years

dentist appt in the morning so naturally i'm laying awake rehearsing how i'm going to explain to them that the last time i went to the dentist they told me one of my molars was a baby tooth that never fell out and the roots died and so it's just. an old dead baby tooth wedged between two adult teeth

whispers theres a difference between zero tolerance and intolerance

🩷🩷🩷 THIS WAS SUCH A TREAT TO WORK ON 🩷🩷🩷

i think we should take to the streets about jonathan joss personally

because 80 years from now, people might talk about american police just like we currently talk about nazis. it will seem so barbaric, so monstrous to them then.
mom: ... yeah, you're right.

(that's really hard for us to say in my family, so i was smug lmfao)

mom: yeah, like that movie
me: like so many movies. but you wouldn't argue with me if i said, "all nazis are bastards."
mom: of course not
me: right
mom: but it's different—
me: why is it different?

mom: not to like, defend the cops, fuck the police, but i don't know that they're all bastards. i think some genuinely believe they're in it for the right reasons.
me: okay, well, we know that's true for nazis, right? like we know there were stories of nazis who helped jewish prisoners escape

real convo i had w my mother 🧵 -

me: what if i wrote a stand-up comedy routine called "acab: the musical"
mom: what is "acab"
me: ma
mom: what?
me: "all cops are bastards" ? how do you not know this you are so online

social media is our generations lead paint btw

hey cory booker, c'mere a sec. no i just wanna talk