I love her Gollum. Guy looks like he just needs a hug.

I think it's very funny that in Mortal Kombat 3 there's a cop who just brings a gun to the tournament.

I, for one, cannot imagine hot, summer Audi Field games without Unwell Hydration.

(jk, I don't think I've seen them sold anywhere in the stadium)

Literally all men want to do is earnestly run Morning Glory Orphanage in Okinawa for the rest of their natural lives.

Tom Draper

A flatscreen display on a "smart" water fountain, demanding to be reconnected to the internet.

In 1999, I was playing a decker in Shadowrun, and tried to distract a guard by hacking a water fountain to overflow, and my GM said "why would a water fountain be on the network? That's fucking stupid. No you can't try."

Well it's 2026 and I just want you to know, Phil, that I FUCKING CALLED IT!

amox-maxxing

You listen to a baseball game on the radio when your team goes down 5-0 in the first inning. By the 8th inning the radio guys are in a weeeeird place. I think this is a similar phenomenon.

This seems like a creator economy story where the need to constantly produce content means that when there is a lack of good content to put out, you're going to have to make up some crap.

Crab Law, man. I don't know.

Snake Plissken couldn't do it. That's why it's not a trilogy.

Can't be serving our seamen British food.

I blame Chris Pratt. Once he stopped them by making them talk to the hand they lost all their cool.

I should have bought more merch. I can't believe I'm saying that.

They’ll always be Football Team to me.

Ideally you would announce this _after_ Alex Cooper launched her Unwell sports bra line.

I am going to being saying “too controversial for athleisure” for the rest of the day

I believe Officer Anger needs to have two verified miracles in order to become St. Anger.

The "none of these words are in the Bible"/"first in my bloodline to read this sentence" thing remains true.

Back in my day if you wanted your band to go viral you just rented eight treadmills and made a music video for YouTube dot com.

mfs don't even know what "recess" means. we have to make words mean things again.

Maybe they will be roommates! That would be so cute!

No one wants to work any more.

It just occurred to me that in this addled mad man’s brain Chicago equals violent crime and therefore the Pope from Chicago must be ok with that.

He’s a racist lunatic.

No, Gosh, I need for my oven to be connected to the cloud.

I just look at this and see Unit 01 in front of the sun and prepare for the Third Impact. It’s orange juice time.

I hope CVS Bangers 6 is locked and ready to drop the day it happens.