doodle of me on my bed in my gross-ass room and examples of my shitty thoughts, like "I sure hope 'Fate' doesn't kill my dog because I totally forgot to dress her up for St. Patrick's Day" and "what should I feed Grandma" and "it's probably saying something that the psych asked if I had an amygdala infeciton as a child, huh" and "I wonder if my mom's life ended up worse because I didn't let her kill herself" and "I sure wish I would have told them to fuck off" and "I should disappear online entirely" and "God I feel so ugly." and "I need to change Grandma's diaper in 15 minutes"
doodle chibi thing of me with my thumbs up, hands in nylon gloves, looking disheveled as I tote a bag of used diapers behind me and say "GREAT NEWS if you've ever wished for my downfall"
chibi..ish... doodle of me sitting on the floor saying "zamnb" and "sheesh, even" which mean "have you ever had a psychiatrist look genuinely surprised you've never had an active suicide attempt, because I have now" and "have you ever had the feeling they sorta wish you were more of a threat to yourself so you'd get 5150'd"
varius doodles of things that are Me-ish, like a weird sona idea that's some kind of fat beast thing draped in curtains with a puppet theatre kinda stage in front of it and the face obscured behind the curtain
Sona thoughts and vents, because it does make me feel better to doodle this stuff out like this-- I'll be fine, life's just been kicking my ass and the combination of intensive caregiving and severe agoraphobia is Rough.
TW: suicide sx selfharm self harm depression vent (sincerely, don't worry)