INFUCKED UP MY WHOLE FEED IS CLOWNS

I said "you are correct" in the middle of the grocery store and two people whipped around like I was reading their thoughts

TOOK A BITE OF ESPRESSO BELLAVITANO, DAMN THAT'S A BIG DOPAMINE HIT

Kinda wish i could go through a pupal stage

CALL ME THE TWIN TOWERS THE WAY I LET HER HIT TWICE

THE RADICAL LEFT SHUT DOWN THE GOVERNMENT? HELL YEAH ANOTHER WIN

*shakes dick and balls menacingly* right?

HOW DID I BECOME THE PIZZA HOTDOG GUY WHY IS THIS MY LEGACY

SHE SAID HOW CAN YOU BE SHY *AND* HAVE A MUSTACHE WHAT THAT MEAN

WHO DECIDED CRABS NEED THEIR OWN GRASS AND APPLES, IM HAPPY TO SHARE MINE

SHE ASKED IF ID LIKE TO COME INSIDE I SAID LET'S START WITH DINNER

IM GETTIN NECK LIKE CHARLIE KIRK SHE GOT MY SHIT LIKE A FOUNTAIN

IM GETTIN BLOWN LIKE JFK SHE TOOK MY SHIT CLEAN OFF

What about in a fascist plutocracy?

OF YOU DRUNK THE RIGHT KIND OF COFFEE YOUR BODY WILL HUM LIKE A TRANSFORMER

MIGHT BE SOMETHING TO THAT TESTES TASTING RUMOR, I JUST TOOK A PEPPERMINT BATH AND MY BALLS ARE MINTY FRESH

Note to self- don't tell coworkers when you try a new pasta shape, they will make fun of you even though they've never had cavatappi or radiatore

Im like if Paddington was also a shitposter

Funniest way to announce bottom surgery is to say that you found the clit

I bought the chocolate milk, i at the chicken nuggets, i drank juice from a tiny cup.i have achieved peak autism

GUILLOTINES ARE A SYMBOL BUT MACHETES ARE $5 AT HARBOR FREIGHT

my mom thinks getting rawed is when they serve you undercooked food. Your mom, however...

Trying a new pasta shape has become the most autistic experience I've ever had

EVERYONE HAS A HOLE FOR A SOFT DOM TO FILL

Bad news, you're going to be visited by the ghosts of Trump, Musk, and Bezos. The good news, though...

Met hayley williams and told her she was great on mythbusters

BEETHOVEN CONTINUED COMPOSING UNTIL HIS DEATH IN 1827, WHEN HE STARTED DECOMPOSONG

I DID SO MANY DRUGS SHE ATE MY NUT AND TRIPPED OFF MY BALLS FOR DAYS

FUN FACT: Tiffany is the only one of his kids born to a naturalized U.S. citizen.

IS THE MASK W JIM CARREY A METAPHOR FOR BEING AUTISTIC!?IS THAT WHY IS LIKE IT?