Who's gonna tell him about shit posters?

Who's gonna tell him about nursing home Chlamydia?

Who's gonna tell him about menopause

I don't understand a smear campaign based on "Katie Porter is secretly mean." This isn't a Klobuchar situation. She's been openly a jerk this whole time. It is a selling point for her.

Poetry Window is open for 50 min

Forbidden YouTube ARG

a man wearing a top hat and a vest is standing in front of a pile of rocks .. Alt: a man wearing a top hat and a vest is standing in front of a pile of rocks ..

M'tism

Nobody else writes songs like Four Winds or Classic Cars when they hit the mainstream, either

I can't believe America's two political parties are the daughters of the witches they couldn't burn, and the scrubs who couldn't get no love from TLC

Lauren Sanchez and Jeff Bezos gaze longingly into each other's empty souls

Gozer the Gozerian of Ghostbusters fame

Who wore it better?

In which I ask grok to self-destruct

You're never going to believe this, but this didn't work

Meanwhile, I've aged like Crystal Pepsi

Can you please take this shit seriously?

In which I tell an account named Cornpop60 that Biden should have finished the job, but they do not get the joke

They're so thick you can't even wish death on them at this point.

House MD is the best Sherlock Holmes adaptation because the writers realized what none of the others have: Moriarty isn't a good nemesis. Lupus is a good nemesis.

Actually, it is ironic that someone named Mr. Playitsafe would be afraid to fly, because statistically it's so much safer* than driving.

*at the time of recording

Tired of winning?

But you just have to tell him you found $200 million for pez dispensers for Guatemala in the federal budget and he'll let you be cfo

Homer Simpson saying "sorry if it sounded sarcastic"

The politics knower has logged on

Why do I struggle to make friends on Bluesky?

Sorry, leaving for an even more woke app. Gotta stay a step ahead.

Hear me out: Homes.com: It's where your soup is

The only Gulf of America I recognize is goatse

Somebody get eyes on Bryce Harper and JT Realmuto

Kendrick should release another track that's just about the patois, as a victory lap

This is Drake's busy season. Prom is coming up.

Enough time has passed that we can be pretty sure Trump wasn't rushing off to prepare a residency at the Kennedy Center for K. Dot.

Drake rn:

This is like watching the Bulls knock the Bad Boy Pistons out of the playoffs for the first time in 91

Somebody gotta do it